Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Why You Tell Me This Fo'?

by chinwhat at 9:30 PM
Last night Shaun and i are talking on MSN Messenger. He begins to talk about some chick he went out with...

Shaun says:
yeah

Shaun says:
body is HYPE though

Shaun says:
she was bending over to play pool

Shaun says:
and for real I was getting a boner

Shaun says:
lol

.chin
tmi asshole

Shaun says:
laugh

Shaun says:
whateveR!

Shaun says:
all my other friends share

.chin
i don't need to hear that! i don't tell you shit like that, so don't tell me! fuck!

okay, so is it fair and normal for Shaun to mention he gets hard over some chick, or am I right in not needing to know such things? Fucking Shaun!

Monday, January 29, 2007

Attacked By a Mad Dog!

by chinwhat at 9:40 PM
My neighbour walks his dog every morning around the same time. It's some sort of poodle or something - white and fluffy. It's got a mean bark though. Every time it'd see me, it keep yap yap yapping and try and get at me.

Last week on Tuesday, i was on my way out to the jay oh bee and saw said neighbour with said dog. I decided I'd BraveStar it and approach the lil doggie. Yap yap yap! So i get down low and offer my hand. It sniffs it and i think everything's kosher. WRONG! Mufucker leaped at me and tried to bite me! I fell a bit backwards and his paw scratched through my shirt. I was pretty lucky the owner yanked the bitch off me!

And that's how i got that mark... Or at least, that's the story I'd run if i still lied (aka "sensationalized"). Kinda like my "I was bit by a bat on my hand when i was exploring my attic" story. But since I don't lie anymore, the real story goes like this:

Got out of the shower last week and noticed some mark on me. "WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. THAT?!?!" I didn't have my glasses on, but it was such a substantial mark, that i could still see it even though i had mad blurry visions. I have absolutely no idea how i got it, but shit looks like i got scratched by some wild cat or something. Bruise and all! It's faded since then but i still have no idea how i got it.

you ever get marks and bruises and cuts you can't explain???

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Stat Geek

by chinwhat at 9:56 PM


THE TIMES HAVE BEEN REMOVED TO HELP ADD DRAMA!!! - April 2K7

Predictions: So who'll win? Not sure. All I know is that anything can happen. Obviously, whoever puts in the most work will have the best chance of not losing and in grand TeamID fashion, its not about coming in first or second or third...

WAR being mean to my friends
WAR fighting Prostate Cancer since 2005
WAR free dinner and drinks

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

GNM (Gross Naked Men)

by chinwhat at 10:30 PM
If I've said it once, i've said it a thousand times: memo to old naked men - PLEASE COVER UP!

I was in the change room at my friendly neighbourhood gym and i swear, is there some sort of "No Clothes for Men Over 50" dress code in affect? Holy crap! I had to force my peripheral vision to minimum so i wouldn't burn my mind's eye! Is this really necessary people? im not homophobic - in fact, one of my best friends is gay - all im asking is mix in a towel, PLEASE!!!

And the gym was busy as the hell! It's already the end of January, what're all these n00bs doing here still??? I swear, i can't wait until these resolutionists disappear from the gym!

< /rantOver>

(and no, there's no real reason why i put up a picture of Misa other than to appreciate her hotness. Thanks for the pic Cindizzle!!)

Sunday, January 21, 2007

I’m Gonna Tear the Roof Off This Mutha!!!

by chinwhat at 10:48 PM
Saturday night, I’m cleaning my room. Seeing as I neglected my shell toes for far too long, I decide to clean up my kicks as well. After a good scrub down, I feel that the laces need a good switch up from the standard whites they currently rock. I figure I’d either go for the straight thick black or the red & black combo. Either way, I’ll need to get my black pair out of my box of laces. Thing is there was only a single black one in there.

Flash back to a couple of months when I remember seeing the loose lace hanging from the shelf. I remember thinking at the time “meh, I’ll put away later” Big mistake, cuz now, I can’t find that shit. And it’s driving me nuts! I knew I should’ve just put the black lace in the box with the others. It’s sorta like back in the day when I made a meal, and was trying to balance like three hot dishes and a full glass of milk to the family room so I could watch some Pasquale’s Kitchen Express. I knew I should really make two trips, but instead, I decide to Bravestar it and try to do it all in one shot. The thing is I fuck up and spill the glass of milk and/or drop some food and/or break some dishes. FUCK!

Off to tangent number 2: Now this kinda reminds me of this WikiHowTo where they were allegedly showing how to lace your shoe the “straight lace” method (scroll down about half way). When I read this, I had to let out a big “OH GAWD!” © Shaun. I think I got more mad than when Al got pwnd by John in poker (op). There are three things wrong with this fucking instruction:

1) He’s telling you to use one long lace and zig zag it through all the holes. Is he fucking retarded? That shit is ugly! You can see where the lace crosses under the top laces! Instead of zig zagging, you’re supposed to hide the progression of the lace so only the parallel laces are seen.
2) The laces aren’t fat. You’re trying cover up as much of the tongue as possible if you’re going straight.
3) Shits ugly as the hell! Who’s shoes are they? A strung out Punky Brewster?*

A LOT of people need to step their shoe game up! Think I don’t notice your laces going all whichever way? No continuity? Fuck, I’m embarrassed for you!

WAR shoe snob

*who some think is kinda hot now (for a white woman). But not me….

Saturday, January 20, 2007

I ♥ Monica…

by chinwhat at 6:04 PM
… in a professional manner. (And no, I’m not talking about the sexy, big foreheaded R&B singer, or M. Bellucci who is pretty much one of the most perfect women ever – and no, I’m not going to add the “for a white woman” qualifier!)



On my birthday, I pretty much always get my teeth cleaned. I know some people find it a bit odd, but I’ll never stop pimping it. I’ll ‘splain it like this: some people love to hit up the salon or get facials or whatever on their born day. It’s a nice way to pamper themselves. For me, it’s the same thing, but I’m getting my teeth did. >flashes a sparkle sparkle smile<

And on my bday, I’d hit up my friendly neighborhood dentist, who is neither friendly nor neighborly, Dr. R (who ai continues to insist is a cheap ass). I never really cared for him, he seemed pretty gay with his gay accent and his constant gossiping. And it always felt like he was always trying to squeeze me for my cache, suggesting some “necessary” operations. GTFOOHWTBS! (I see you working Dr. R!)

Anyways, the reason I kept going there was for Monica, the dental hygienist. She’s a spicy Latina who’s my age, also graduated from George Brown and has a great personality. And yes, easy on the eyes. Whenever she cleaned my teeth, my gums never hurt like when other hygienists worked on me, yet I still felt like she did a thorough job. But more importantly, I felt like Monica genuinely cared about what was going in my life. And she has a great memory. She’d bring up old topics and details we’d discuss the last time I’d seen her, which was usually six months previous. (Also for kicks: Ruby goes to see her too, or at least she used to. Monica knows Rubes as “Navjit” and I’m known as “Chris” instead of… “Chin” hahahhaha Get it? Cuz I’m Chin, but Chris. And… she’s Ruby, but… >cough< its funny. Just not in a ‘laugh out loud’ funny…)

Basically, I don’t want anyone else cleaning my teeth except her. **Especially** on December 21th! That’s why I got a little concerned when they started to freeze her out of hours at Dr. R’s a couple of years back. They only gave her Wednesdays. Not kosher Dr. R, not kosher at all! (Get it? Cuz he's Jewish. Wait, i didn't mention that?) That caused Monica to find a new gig at Hwy 10 and 403 and with last years birthday rolling up on a Thursday, it was a good a time as any to switch it up and go to Monica’s new place of employment.

On one of my days off, I decide to go and see if I could find the dental office based on Monica’s description. I must’ve appeared pretty stalkerish walking into the office and asking the receptionist “Does a Monica work here?” Laugh! Lucky for me, I found it on my first guess.

As I set my appointment up, I notice that there’s this glamour shot type photo of the receptionist sitting right besides her. Ooooooooooooookay I sezs to myself. I figured she was really high on herself like that. I mean, she’s not my type, so I don’t know why she’d be all over her own dick like that, but whatever, right? I didn’t get it until I actually went inside the office area on my birthday…

Early morning Dec 21: I’m sitting in the waiting room, the first patient there, just waiting to get called. In comes Monica and you know what she does? “CHHRRRRRRRISSSS! Happy Birthday!” and gives me a hug and flashes a big friendly smile! See, that’s what I’m talking bout! She told me that day that when they were discussing new patients, one of the staff mentioned me and said “…Chris is coming in on-” and she interrupts “His birthday!” How do you like those apples?

Part way during my cleaning, she noticed my lips were chapped. And what did she do? Not only offer me some lip lotion (or whatever its called), but she grabbed a giant qtip and put it on for me. She. Put. It. On. For. Me. I felt like a movie star! Getting my make up fixed. I saw one of the receptionists walk by and look in and I’m thinking “That’s right bitch. Monica’s touching me up. What!!” If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention: I was getting introduced to the staff and shown all the different rooms in the facility. The place was P-I-M-P-I-N-G!!! Indoor water fall wall thingy. Private operation rooms. PS2 system for the kids to play. Shit was butter!

But the real big thing I noticed was it was hard core femdom* up in there! The ENTIRE staff was female – and no, I’m mos def not hating! All over the windows and corners were more glamour shot pictures of all the staff. Some solo, some pairs and some group shots of them in gowns and shit. Their make up did standing in the "torso 2/3 turn, chin down and smile" pose that women are trained to do. In one of the little offices I was taken into for a little Q&A, it had a giant Betty Boop statue. This thing towered over me! I have no idea how they got it in that room. BB’s head was HUGE!

All in all, it seemed really friendly there. I asked Monica how she liked working there and she said she loved it. I was really happy for her.

After I was all done, she gave me a good bye/Happy Birthday hug and as a parting gift: a little loot bag filled with all the dental care goodies. She said that they ran out of Christmas themed ones, but I know she wanted to give me a heart one on purpose. Hahaha. Can’t wait to go back!


*female dominatrix – as in hard core female empowerment (mental note: add to wiki)

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Benny Hinn

by chinwhat at 5:30 PM
I don't know who this dude is, but these videos made me laugh my gat damn ass off! hahahha, oh snap! It's like its some sort of kung fu movie and he's just straight taking out cats one after another! They all step up to try and get a piece of Hinn, but he just murks them with his magic choke push, forehead slap or with his blazing blazer of justice! hilarity!


Thursday, January 04, 2007

To share is to care

by chinwhat at 10:12 PM
Tis the season to give! Here are some late Christmas presents for you gents (and ladies) who enjoy bikini pics of...

Cassie:
http://celebrityinc.blogspot.com/2006/12/cassie-hits-beach.html

JAlba:
http://forum.phun.org/showthread.php?t=124582
http://www.egotastic.com/entertainment/celebrities/jessica-alba/jessica-albas-ass-deserves-its-own-post-002039

IMO, they need to get off of their 'no carb' diets, but still, that's some hot shizznit!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

2007 Mini Preview

by chinwhat at 9:53 PM


It's 2007 and the future is now! Looking ahead to this year, here’s some things I’m looking forward to:

* Cake Party – inspired by Cathy’s “when my husband is away, I eat cake for dinner” comment. Everyone brings a cake. We lay down some news paper. The only utensils we get to use are big cooking spoons (or our bare hands. Savages!) Let’s eat like we’re 2 years old!

* 8K Race – I feel we need to breath some new life into this. We can’t have Cathy and Ruby losing every year (op). New rules: you’re racing against yourself. The two who improves the least, pays for dinner and drinks.

* CNTower Climb – since I missed not one, but BOTH climbs last year, I need to get in on it again.

* Yonge Street 10K – well, I’m not really looking forward to this as much as I’m looking forward to the Hot House Café brunch afterwards…

* United Way’s Great Neighbourhood Race – yes, I’m still heated we did so crappy last year. Fucking revenge, son. Revenge!

* Skydiving – since Old Man John has pushed to the ceiling of the “before we’re 30” pact, looks like we’re doing it this year. Right, bitches? Pussies stay on the ground please.

* Ruby’s also turning 30 this year. Gat damn you two are some old muh fuckers! Hahaha! Celebrate good times!

* No more lying – or at least, lie less. And this time, I mean it! http://chinder.blogspot.com/2006/04/peace-see-you-later-lie-champion.html

That’s all I can think of right now, but all in all, it should be a good year. My resolution for this year: Increase Market Value. Just better myself in every way possible. Learn shit, like guitar. Work out more. Be smarter. Get a better job. Get more confidence (stupid). Etc. etc. etc.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

whoops...

by chinwhat at 9:04 PM
forgot one thing in yesterday's post. The Battle of the Year by far was Al MacFanBoy v Shaun SalesPig.

WAR MSPaint Skillz

Monday, January 01, 2007

2006 Recap

by chinwhat at 4:45 PM
Goodbye 2K6. Here are the most notable moments from this year.

January
Unfortunately, the year didn’t start off the best for me. Ah, what're you gonna? Who knows, but I figure: hey, it’s her loss … Speaking of losses, I almost lost my cousin in that crazy accident. Good thing that crash smartened him up because I don’t think he’d learn any other way. That and his insurance must be crazy expensive!

February
I give my better half, ai, access to contribute to my blog. Between his lack of posts and as well as his disappearing act from TeamID events this year, I decide to cut him off a few months later. Easy come, easy go >shrug< … Read Tuesday’s With Morrie. Shit changed my life! Okay, not really. But if I had a book club like Oprah (or a million dollars) I’d pimp it more hard core than I already do (which isn't a lot) … Chilled out at John’s place and Shaun gets the bright idea to call up Goldhawk on Rogers10. He wanted to punk them about the old sky line backdrop they were using (which they changed after we called btw). I yelled out “G-UNIT!!” at the end. Not sure why, but hey, it was funny!


March
Found out in March that the Utah Jazz’s Andrei Kirilenko’s wife lets him sleep with another woman once a year. She is unanimously voted Best Wife Ever by the International Men’s Committee … Winter pretty much finishes and I realize that this was the first year in a long time which I had absolutely zero skating! What a shame … Shaun moves to his new place and in TeamID tradition, defacing of boxes continues!

April
Our annual 8K Race at High Park was done. Hey, look! It’s CityTv’s Mark Daley! Hey even Shaun showed up, too! Hmmmmmmmm, I wonder why … MTVCanada launches and that makes me a very very happy boy. Why? Aliya-Jasmine Sovani, that's why! Is there a prettier TV host debut this year? I think not! >sigh< … My work out buddy Shaun quits the gym. He claims that he’ll be working out at his gym. Keep up the "breathing exercises" my friend! >cough< >cough< …

May
My last fete for the year is the monstrous FireFete3. Shoes get destroyed, but it was still fun as hell ... Cathy gets thrown out of the Maddy. She gets mad props! I’ve never known anyone to get tossed out of a bar before. This also cements Maria’s opinion that the CathyAl are “wild” laugh!!! … Chris and I join beach volleyball. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: I’m not really into white girls. BUT the one Barbie on our team… >whistles!< Gat Damn son! Those legs!

June
The first time my company’s softball team plays the Mississauga Indian Grocer’s team. All praises due to Vishnu because their catcher is a piece of work! Plum ass and all! … ChristinaDave’s wedding was great! Food wise, best meal of the year. Hands down! I should also mention a funny quote from that night: we were getting ready to take a group picture so we needed someone to take the pic. Someone hands Christina, the bride, a camera. One of her friends in disgust and confusion asks "Why are *YOU* taking the picture?" Hahahha!

July
My Panthers v Shaun’s Megabytes. A lot of talking the talk from his team, but not enough walking the walk. We touch them up 16 – 6. Better luck next time, bitches! … Sara and The Doochd get married… allegedly … Cathy gets pregnant… allegedly … The third year TeamID submits a team into The United Way’s Great neighbourhood Race. I take over as team captain this year and we get shamed up by The Natty’s team. How embarrassing. But hey, at least I get to hang out with my good friend Nalini! It's been a while since we've been able to chill … After lining up for days and nights, Chris gets his condo! … Cassie’s Me & U video is debuted. >faints<

August
Got my Jacob watch. Bitches start tripping over themselves trying to get on my shine! … I got my white water rafting. Looking back, it’s one of the funnest things I did last year. Now all I need is some friends to come with me so I don’t look like a big loner … We get our grubby hands on one of the hottest tickets of the year: Dave Chappelle at Masey Hall! … Cleveland Rocks! Kinda. … No Kelso picnic this year. Thanks for nothing Ruby. Oh punk!

September
Chin v Cathy: The Bet. If Cathy gives up eating sugar (cookies, cakes, candies, ice cream etc etc etc) for the rest of the year, then I have to give up all of my precious shoes for three months or so. Who wins? No one! Due to health concerns, Cathy’s coworker begs me to call off the bet. I breath a sigh of relief … “So you like Pharcyde and A Tribe Called Quest?” © EuroTourmate, 2001. Fucking right I do! ATCQ come by for their Toronto tour stop. I don’t think I’ve ever squealed before that night - and I squealed a lot! Zulu Nation!!! … Speed Dating 2. Got more matches and actually went for a follow up date. Why’d I go? Fuck do I know?! What I do know is I wasn't impressed at all. She was alright I guess... if you like boring people... and flat asses... and someone who keeps talking about their ex ... T-Dot ArtNerds (and ArtNerdWannaBes like moi) experience Nuit Blanche. Who knew outdoor art at 3am could be fun? Me, that’s who!

October
I made a terrific Halloween costume which was wasted on a bunch of dummies. >sigh< … TeamID tradition continues with our trip the ChiCity, The City of Wind. I’m blessed as the Duke of Rosemont. Why? Because I don’t eat garbage for dinner, that’s why! I wouldn't even wish my worst enemy to eat at Steak&Shake! … MarvinHeathers wedding exposes Shaun for the younger-sister hunter that he is. >hides Beth’s cell number< … Lay offs at work. Shits crazy. Morale is low. But I’m still there. Yay!


November
Manny Pacquiao had his third fight against Erik Morales. Since it was pre-empted, the main event didn’t start until 4:30 in the morning. 4:30! 4:30!!! … Al sets up the TeamIDWiki. A constant work in progress, but can we keep it up? … Had my 10 year high school reunion. It was nice to see a few people who I haven’t seen in a while, but everyone else who was there I see on the regular anyways … my attempt to grow my hair was ‘cut short’. Get it? “Cut.” “Short.” Hahahaha, uuggghhhh …

December
Chris moves into his place. Lucky for him, his boxes weren’t “decorated”. The purple anal toy that he was supposed to pass on remains missing … John begins his “Blog of the Year” campaign push and reinforces Cathy’s “mysterious” description of him … TeamID Xmas Dinner includes the very first TeamID awards. Congratulations to all winners and ai, get your fucking awards out of my house!


Also mentionable: 2K6 was the year TeamID joined the DS cult. 6 out of 7 TeamID members is a proud owner of a DS! ...
new sub group: The Wedding Pact. Sure we all want to get married, but in four years? Son, that's too much pressure! ... I'll be stepping up my prank game. Both at work and at home, so all of you have been warned! ... My broke as bike: stupid thing! I might have to hit up some police auction to pick up a new ride. The one i got is getting me upset...

All in all, another great year!
Looking real forward to 2K7!

Peace 2K6!