Thursday, March 31, 2005

6 Degrees Of Precipitation

by chinwhat at 6:41 PM
That’s the forecast some stations are calling for! So how does this affect the race? How the heck should I know? What am I, a doctor? Anyways, I’m not really excited for this year’s race. Why? Maybe it’s because I’ve “trained” for it a total of one whole day(s)!! I decided to hit the treadmill and see how it goes last week. Twenty minutes in and my knee pretty much exploded. Make some space on the bench George and Dr. T, because I need to sit my ass down! My knee still hasn’t healed from last summers half marathon so it looks like I may have to pay for this din din. I just ask that yall’s take it easy on my wallet. This experimental neo cirton money ain’t come in yet!

Excuse Me

by chinwhat at 7:21 AM
(or The Tipping Point)

Through my 24 odd years of existence, (or is it 25?) I’ve always been able to come up with excuses no matter what situation I found myself in. For example, my excuse for not having a gf was because I didn’t have a job. Now true, that is a valid reason (I mean, which female would want to go out w/a guy who didn’t have a job? ZACTLY! Like that song goes: “Girls don’t like boys/Girls just like cars and money”) but its an excuse non the less. So what about now that I got some steady income? (Yes, you’ll all get your TeamID requisite dinner, bitches!) Well, I’ve already determined that my new excuse for the above example is: “Well, who’d want to go out with a guy who’s a human lab rat for a pharmaceutical company?” which is funny because I have a pretty good excuse for doing what I do. “I’m doing good work for humanity. Without me, who’d know if drinking *insert random sleeping drug here* was safe for human consumption???”


HATING ON: eating a nice meal when I get that “damn, I need to take a dump” feeling. I hate that!

Friday, March 25, 2005

Keep It Strong!

by chinwhat at 10:10 AM

Well it's Easter season again and I'd like to give a shout out to all my cousins and thier friends back home crucifying themselves.
Keep strong Bong-Bong.

Church!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

French to English Translation for “Lesbian” is “Less Good”

by chinwhat at 10:58 PM
Okay, so you know when you don’t listen to your brain, not good things happen? For example, I’d make a meal and want to go eat in the family room. Instead of taking two trips to carry a glass of milk, a glass of OJ, yoghurt, a couple of plates, the news paper, some fruit and all the necessary cutlery, I’d make only one trip. Now I knew this was a bad move. I’d drop something for sure, but I went for it anyways. And the outcome? One broken side plate and a bagel plus crumbs all over the floor. Why? All because I didn’t listen to my stupid brain. The exact thing happened to me today. I was pretty bored and the novelty of giving myself a hickey on my shoulder quickly wore off, so I decided to trim the ol’ dome. Try and make myself a little more professional and presentable. So I says to myself “Self, make sure you take it easy. A little at a time, okay?” *ZZZzzzzttt* “DANG!” Why didn’t I listen to myself!?? Now I got the world’s best looking dyke-esque haircut! All I need is a lumberjack jacket (and a hat to match!) and head on down to College to wait for some lipstick lesbo to pick me up.... grumble.... grumble


I want to see a dance off!!!
Just saw the new Snoop video "signs" w/Charlie Wilson and JustinT. Fire up them JTvUsher debates because JT brought it! It is in my humble opinion that as of this moment, I'd see Timberlake taking it. Pops better than Mr.Raymond. ATown Stomps better than him too! What, you ain't see it? Better ax somebody!!

Sunday, March 20, 2005

SHARK!!!!

by chinwhat at 11:44 PM

Thought that Wake Forest’s double over time loss to West VA was exciting? This past Sunday presented us with THE movie event of 2005! CBS brought it with the film Spring Break Shark Attack! I don’t use the word ‘genius’ a lot, but who ever thought about combining ‘Jaws’ with bikinis is, quite frankly, a genius! This film has it all. Action, drama, and terrific production. But above all it’s more than just a metaphor for life where sharks prey on helpless bikini clad babes, it’s a social commentary.

Tip: to get some OC tittays pressed up against you, all you have to do is get a fu(king harpoon shot through your shoulder! Like GAT DAMN!!!


Since its Monday, what better way to usher in the new work *cough* week with a video clip. It’s an
Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior publicity show
during a Mavs game. Straight up, its one word: AMAZING! Be sure to watch the last move he does. Like Berlin, it takes my breath away!

Thursday, March 17, 2005

March Madness!!!

by chinwhat at 10:50 PM
The greatest sports event has once again rolled through! Sure I don’t follow college ball at all, but you really don’t need to! You can just feel the emotions coming from the students from every game!
The excitement!
The drama!
The triumphs!
The losses!

I’ve got my brackets filled out and my final four are: Illinois, UNC, Duke and Gonzaga. Yes I realize that’s three number one seeded teams and that almost never happens, but I believe!

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

SalesPig4Life

by chinwhat at 10:47 PM
This past weekend, the fam headed out to our friendly neighbourhood Acura dealership to look for a future heir for LeSabreNation. ShaunJ got an invite and we all proceeded to look throughout the show room for an RSX (or something). The sales pig was having trouble up selling our clan into buying some silver car, so the sales manager comes in for some tag team sales tactics after watching the initial talk’s breakdown. H.P.I.C. (HeadPigInCharge) was pretty good. Unfortunately, he tried to get me into the sales discussion. He had his whole “So young lady (Beth), what do you want in a car?” to which my sister replied honestly. He tried running that game on me to which I said: “I’m not a big car guy.” I should’ve said “I want a nice compact environmentally responsible vehicle. Preferably an electric. If not, a hybrid” but I’m trying to decrease my jerk ratings. Regardless, Mr. Manager’s reaction would’ve been the same; dropping any attention to me like a hot potato! Damn, it’s like that, eh?



Anyways, here’s adidas’ new commercial for their cg running shoe. It’s directed by Spike Jonze. Now I don’t like to say ‘genius’ a lot, but if his previous work wasn’t a clue to his genius, then this hurr is further proof!

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Props Is A True Thugs Wife

by chinwhat at 10:20 PM
I’m still coming down off the compliments made about my shoes from Carolyn Parrish, so I’ve decided to share the love. Who’s got the props besides Buckshot, 5ft Accelerator and DJ Evil Dee?

Props to:
Al: For pointing out how retarded Jon is regarding ESPN2K5’s in-game camera angle. “It’s the first thing I did when I got the game”

Jon: For knowing he’ll get punked (and rightfully so) when he figured out how to change it!

Chris: For not being as cheap as Cathy says he is. I noticed that 10 piece you dropped for the pizza AND bubble tea on Friday night! I see that!

Shaun: For his game. Damn, watching him work is something else! Charming ass motha fu(ka!

YTM - TheYouthMovement: For keeping it young! (and acronym wrong!)

The Natty: For stepping up her punkage game on me. Examples:
“Yeah, I thought about being a nun too… when I was *single*” – reply to my comment on once thinking about becoming a priest.

“Wow Chin, you look like you can actually get a date!” – on seeing a picture of me at the Liberal fund raiser.

The Person Who Made An Animated GIF Of This:


By far, one of the funniest things I've seen in a long ass time!


Celebrity Props goes to:
Musician John Mayer for his truth telling quote in the latest issue of XXL:
"Black Eyed peas seem cool but what they're doing has the least amount of substance I've heard in any pop music, ever. It's like, Okay. When DOES it get started?..."


Minus Props too:
Jon: For his shamity in not wanting to call anyone for a ride. Adding: “(I’d call someone) if I really wanted to go” Dis guy!

Dr. T: For thinking I was actually mad at Shaun for CB’ing me last week. Geez, you’ve been hanging around Cathy to much!

That free photograph from Mona's sisters' Saffron gig: why the fuck do I look like a girl? (I'm only fulfilling personal requests as this sh1t is to embarassing for me to post up generally...)

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Redemption Song

by chinwhat at 11:58 PM
As Chris mentioned in his Blog, it was our last volleyball session on Wednesday night. It’s a great thing seeing progress. Two months ago we were a big ol’ bunch of rag tag sucks bumping into each other and totally missing shots! Now, pretty much all of us made great improvements – and yes Anthony, even the fat chicks didn’t suck! So I was pretty excited going into our last class. I was expecting a solid hour and a half of volleyball goodness. And that’s what I got right? Psh, wrong! Why? Its all thanks to Dieon (remember him? The over zealous try hard?) At the end of the night, Chris agreed with me: he’s some bitter ass highschool player yearning for days past much like Napoleon’s uncle… Which is why we decided to gloss him Uncle Dieon. I swear, I could picture him saying “How much you wanna bet I can spike a ball over them mountains?” and Chris added: “He probably makes videos of himself hitting the ball!” Exactly!!! If only he wasn’t on the bench when his team lost, maybe they could’ve been champions…

On Wednesday he came looking ready to smash the ball in someone’s grill! Knee pads AND wristbands! Being his regular self – agitating, mean and salty as fu(k – he pretty much ruined my last day at vball. We divided into teams and I was stuck on his team. We did alright, but not great right? We go over our regular scheduled 10:30 curfew and continue playing until we were asked to leave. I guess Uncle Dieon didn’t like that as shown by that smirk on his face. One of the girls twisted her wrist, so that left us with our four v their five. And what does Uncle Dieon decide to do? Not try. (Not to mention him coming into my designated area twice which is pretty dangerous. I don't need another ankle injury. Both time he collided with me. Once he pushed me onto those blue mats hanging on the wall, the second time knocking my legs from under me almost twisting my knee!) In my best Al Pacino impression, all I could repeat in my head was: “Thank you, Asshole! ... WHOO-HAAA!!!”


Adventures In Babysitting 2: Back At Square One

So I decided to head to the mall so I could get Kiara to walk and more importantly, get tired so she could take a nap while I too took a na- errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr got some work done… Getting the looks from folks, I never wanted a name tag so much in my life! It’d be one of those default “Hello…” stickers except it’d say: “Hello, I am her Uncle ____________” Almost felt like they were trying to see the resemblance. I didn’t pull a Theo & Olivia though. (‘member that episode where Theo, who was at college at the time, took Olivia to a coffee shop and he started to pull in all sorts of numbers?) I need to train Kiara on some cutesy song and dance routines…

He’s Still…

by chinwhat at 12:20 AM
Unbelievable

Live from Bedford-Stuyverson, the livest one
Representin BK to the fullest
Gats I pull it, bastards duckin when Big be buckin
Chickenheads be cluckin in my bathroom fuckin
It ain't nuttin, they know Big be handlin
with the mac in the Ac' door paneling
Bandaging MC's, oxygen they can't breathe
Mad tricks up the sleeve, red boxers so my dick can breathe
Breeze through in the Q-45 by my side, lyrical high
And those that rushes my cluthes get put on crutches
Get smoked like dutches from the master
Hate to blast ya, but I have ta, you see I smoke a lot
Your life is played out like Kwame, and them fuckin polka dots
Who rock the spot? Biggie!
You know how the weed go, unbelievable

B-I-G, G-I-E, AKA, B.I.G.
Get it? Biggie
Also known as the bon appetit
Rappers can't sleep need sleepin Big keep creepin
Bullets heat-seekin, casualties need treatin
Dumb rappers need teachin
Lesson A - don't fuck with B-I, that's that, oh I, thought he was wack
Oh come come now, why y'all so dumb now
Hunt me or be hunted, I got three hundred and fifty-seven ways
To simmer saute, I'm the winner all day
Lights get dimmer down Biggie's hallway
My forte causes caucasians to say
He sounds demented, car-weed scented
If I said it, I meant it
Bite my tongue for no-one
Call me evil, or unbelievable

Buck shots out the sun roof of Lexus Coupe's
Leave no witnesses, what you think this is
Ain't no amateurs here, I damage and tear
MC's fear me, they too near not to hear me
Clearly, I'm the triple beam dream
One thousand grams of uncut to the gut
It seems fucked up, the way I touched up the grill
Tryin to play gorilla, when you ain't no killer
The gat's by your liver, your upper lip quiver
Get ready to die, tell God I said hi
And throw down some ice, for the nicest MC
Niggaz know the steelo, unbelievable

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Adventures In Babysitting

by chinwhat at 11:43 PM
Today I had the absolute pleasure of taking care of my niece today. I was pretty hyped for it, even though I knew it wouldn’t be easy. Sure, I had to take care of her solo for a whole two hours, but still, I ain’t never done this before.

My sister leaves for school leaving me alone with Kiara who just turned 2 a couple weeks ago and gatdamn, she started crying and had the saddest face I’ve ever seen on anyone in my life. IN. MY. LIFE!!! So after about fifteen minutes of her standing by the door looking real sad (and me feeling really helpless) I finally got her back to the family room – thanks to some random candy – and we got down to watching some Finding Nemo… for about twelve minutes. Followed by ten minutes of A Bugs Life… then Monster’s Inc. for a record thirty six odd minutes… and then switch back to Finding Nemo…. Oy!!! Eventually, it was time for the dreaded diaper change. I always thought it was pretty odd to smell the ass of a baby in order to determine if they shat or not, but hey, if it ain’t broke… As I began changing her diaper, I began to giggle/laugh. What was going through my head? “What if I get pooh all over her? Or all over me? What if the pooh is all smeared all over the place? Do I have enough wipes? What if she starts peeing?” etc etc etc. The funny part (aside from the two shades of defication) is that while I was laughing, so was she! So I did the best I could do. Pretty pleased with myself... until my sister gets back and had to redo it. OP! laugh...

If I had to rate myself, I think I’d give myself a pass. Sure it was a paltry two hour gig, and sure she made a pretty good mess, and sure I couldn’t get her to eat anything unsweet and unhealthy, and sure she spilled a cup of orange juice all over the couch – and herself of course, and sure I had to do some fu(ked up Beyonce-type-“Uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh” dance to keep her entertained, but I think I did a pretty good/not to shabby/could’ve be worse/she’s still in one piece job!

- Chin in Charge

VIOLATION!!!

by chinwhat at 12:04 AM
So Dr. T, Shaun and I head over to our favorite local spot where the décor looks as nice as the waitresses: Canyon Creek. While others ogle at the blondie that’s serving us (whom I think is a little bo-legged) I notice the other one who’s has way more flavour. So I go the washroom, get back, trade glances and smiles throughout the night etc. (sure she’s just building clientele/tip revenue, but eff it, me man. Me like! *Grunts*) So we’re finishing up and I try running some “So, how long you work here?” game (yes, I know I suck, but hey, its an E for effort right ‘yatches?) Later on, she comes back to pick up the cash monay and engages in some chit chat with us, except the “us” becomes “Shaun.” He goes into his stories about "not going to work" and his "hard working lawyer friends" and how his "dad always takes work home." And I’m like: Yo motha fu(ker, can I get a word in? (while taking down some notes on how Shaun works. Damn he good!) I try throwing in my little comments here and there, but she eventually had to go back to work. Anyways, the good doctor and I both agreed: I got cock blocked by Shaun! He violated the guy code! Thanks for nothing! You’re so selfish! He tried to defend himself with: “I wasn’t trying to pick her up” to which I replied: “Its not about you picking up, its about you cb’ing me” Laugh, I tried punching Shaun in the stomach in the parking lot, but he blocked it. Damn boxing lessons! Laugh…


But what I really wanted to post about tonight was the sexiest thing a girl ever said to me:

“You’ve got the headband, your boots are Hip-Hop, do you like Pharcyde and A Tribe Called Quest?” – Helena Chao, commenting on my outfit (headband, Okayplayer tshirt, long shorts and Lugz boots) Innsbruck, Austria. 30 May 2001.


In a way, its kind of effed up… but then again, it isn’t. Y’know??? Ah, good memory. As Bart once said: "I'm so there..."

Sunday, March 06, 2005

There’s no such thing as stupid questions…

by chinwhat at 10:57 PM
Just to set things straight:
I’d like to consider myself a straight up guy. Easy peasy. What you see is what you get. Which is why I’d like to say “Ask me”

If there’s a question you want to ask,
Ask me.
If you wonder why I did something, or why I didn’t,
Ask me.
If there’s something, anything at all you’re curious about,
Ask me.

I’m not going to get mad or embarrassed. Just ask. I’m not going to bite anyone’s head off. I’ll give you the best answer I can. I mean, we’re all friends right?


... and yes, this is a manisfistation of my brown paranoia in full affect! But the message remains the same...

Thursday, March 03, 2005

One Day It'll All Make Sense: I Love H.E.R.

by chinwhat at 11:24 PM
Having first known about Her in high school
I’d never realize how much She’d eventually mean to me.
Possibly perceived as mere lust? I doubt that.
How many countless hours of lost sleep have I
Often dedicated to Her? From early mornings to way
Past midnights, She’s always on my mind. As dedicated to her as
I’ve been to nothing else in my life, I could
Never put a value on Her like a borrowed dollar.
I can vividly recall that day on the
Train, I could never ever forget; that
Special moment of absolute perfection!

Every time I hear Her voice or hear Her name,
Sweet dance like chocolate or read Her water like flowetry,
She could never understand how much it
Excites me like an electric circus! Yet the person in me
Needed wake up and listen to some
CommonSense which made me question relativity.
Especially with Her culture. I know I’m just an
An outsider looking in,
Never knowing if I’ll ever be ‘down’ enough, but I’ve
Decided that my fantasy is just as good as her reality.

Resurrection makes me come back to Her
Every time I may ogle at another, She’d
Always have me drawn back, this
Love of my life…

Randumbness

by chinwhat at 12:21 AM
Laugh: So I’m on my daily message boards… topic is on how Claire Huxtable’s the absolute perfect tv wife (which would be hard to refute) and other generic Cosby Show discussion. One person posted this:

raven simone 50CENT'D that show
i mean gotdamn
she came thru on some
cute as a bug shit
like rudy fall back u got ur period, i got this.


Laugh II: Same board, but this time, a ‘story’ Damn, I wish I could tell stories as good as this!

My grandpa was using the computer to make a birthday card for his friend, and was screwing around looking through folders and shit, and popped up my Porn Folder (9 Gigs). It's FULL of barnyard animal sex, granny sex, shit sex, girl-on-girl, and dildo sex.
I was in the kitchen eating Cocoa Puffs when I heard somebody shout "Oh! Oh my word!" and then heard him get up and walk into the kitchen. He looked flustered; bothered. He said "Oh I'm gonna just take a little break."
I knew what's up. I ran to the computer and checked. He accessed my porn Folder. I got SOOOO embarassed, he was sitting in the living room staring at the blank TV screen. I sat down next to him and managed to choke out, "Pappy I just wanted to say I'm sorry if you saw something you didn't wanna."
He quickly shrugged and said "Na na na, nonsense!!! What are you yapping about, kid? I didn't see nothin!" and wiped sweat from his brow with his hankerchief.


???: So I’m eating some candy hearts. They got some expected captions on them like:
I’m yours
But wtf do these mean? Seriously??:
Why now
Please forgive
Fax me
Turtle dove
Nice girl


Sigh: It seems better than The United Way’s Great Neighbourhood Race, but its also WAY more expensive: http://www.bellcitychase.com/en_index.asp 2 person teams at $150? GTFOOH!!! ...Maybe next year...

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Ah Smarch Weather! or Q&A

by chinwhat at 11:33 AM
With each new month, comes a new page flip on the good ol' TeamID calendar!
Q: Does anyone else look forward to looking at a whole month of wacky wacky pictures?
A: observe Jon and yours truly modelling long johns.

Received that brand new Mississauga Inside & Out guide.
Q: NEW! Volleyball Beach Co-ed Intermediate (pg 253) Who else is down?
A: Aye for one!

So its snowing this wet packing snow.
Q: Does anyone want to have a snowball fight?
A: Ya'll don't want any!

Got a job offer yesterday
Q: "There are midnight shifts, from 7pm to 7am. And you get to have at least one weekend off a month. How does that sound?"
A: (said in Filippino accent) Puck dat shet!!!

Reading some entertainment news online...
Q: What would a Anthony Irving + CathyAl Torreno wet dream look like?
A: WAR rewinding ones hero on a rogers digital video recorder