Thursday, April 28, 2005

Sneaker Pimp

by chinwhat at 6:24 PM
I think I hate my shoes. No, not my nice runners, but the crappy generic black ones I have to wear to work everyday. From Monday to Thursday, that’s pretty much all I wear. Not only do they look generic, but I have to wear them often. The more often I wear them, the less I care about them. And the less I care, more worn out they get. The more worn out they get, the more like a bum I look. I can’t look like a bum right?? Even if the rest of my outfit is on point and I got bummy shoes, I’m still a bum! Whereas if I got nice shoes and okay gear, then I’m still good! Anyways, my ass can’t wait until Friday. Not only because the weekend-eve, but it’s also ‘dress down day.’ If only they didn’t tighten the leash on civies, I’d be rocking my crisp superstars or diesel daves >brushes off dirt from the shell toes< Which got me thinking: if they let me wear whatever I wanted, then I’d work even better! (waits for jon to mention statistics on how productivity goes down during dress down days. “I read it on the internet!” says jon…) I figure it like this: I’d want to show off all my shoes so then I’d have to always be running around and such. Out and about. Meeting and greeting! “Oh these, naw, they’re not new.” “What do you mean another pair of shoes? I don’t have THAT many!” etc etc etc.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

“Death To America!”

by chinwhat at 9:04 PM
Is what I heard at my Muslim friends wedding. Or at least that’s what I was expecting… Alright, I wasn’t expecting that, but I thought that I wished that they’d consider saying that. Anyways, here some random stuff that happened which I feel necessary to mention:

- Not having to worry if the food is pork free (or “halal” as the call it) is nice!
- Every wedding needs spinach pies! I’ve officially decided that it’s not a wedding without one!
- Having no akahol at a wedding is really… sobering…
- The groom posing with a big ass sword (some sort of wedding symbol or something) is fucking boss!
- In my life, I’ve now seen the two Palestinian women (that I know of) and I’m going to Palestine. I don’t know how they do it there, but they’re on something beautiful!!!
- The ritual where the bride and groom spit milk in each others face is pretty interesting!
- But what’s not is having some old random guy try to explain it to me half assly. When asked what they’re doing, he answers “Oh, its some custom where they spit milk in each others face. It’s a sign of… of… uh, yknow…” No, no I don’t sir.
- Men kissing each other on the cheek seems pretty homoerotic… yet at the same time, it doesn’t…
- …As does dancing while holding more men’s hands…. Yet it doesn’t as well…
- But the dancing is fun. If I’m not doing some sort of crip walk type hop & slide, then I’m just clapping my hands along with everyone else. Even white people can get down at these weddings!

So I had a pretty good time. Can’t wait to go to some more non-Christian/standard weddings!

Sunday, April 24, 2005

The Doctor And Me

by chinwhat at 12:12 PM
This is why we call Dr. T a doctor! laugh:

<- That's Hot! - Chin says:
yo
<- That's Hot! - Chin says:
you gon play ball tonight?
Kevin says:
no, I injuryed my foot from playing last sunday
Kevin says:
it just started feeling better on friday...I don't wanna push it
<- That's Hot! - Chin says:
for real? what happened?
Kevin says:
i think I might have strained my achilles heel.
<- That's Hot! - Chin says:
dr.t diagnoses himself with a strained achilles heel
Kevin says:
haha, that's me...the Doc has made his diagnosis

Friday, April 15, 2005

My New Crush

by chinwhat at 6:15 PM
So Thursday afternoon some random telephones went >zilch< Friday rolls around and folks is complaining. We make a call to Bell to get a technician to come in (I wonder if Dr. T took that call) and fix our problem. So we’re waiting and I get a call from reception saying the Bell tech is here. I go and greet him. GAT DAMN this fool is huge! I swear he pushes three bills EASY! Wore a cut off shirt with a denim vest. Tats all up and down his biceps which were as thick as my thighs. Had those hoops in his ear lobes. Piercings the rest of the way up. He looked like one of those fat twins on the mopeds. Except he wasn’t fat, nor did he have a twin. More menacing looking and was strapped with some telecommunication tools. So I introduce myself and offer my hand. Big mistake. Monster straight CURSHES my hand. My compu-geek mits were no match for this bear trap he called his right hand. And yo, if you don’t believe me, I got a bunch of broken carpal bones to show your asses!

CHURCH!

In typical Chin fasion...

by chinwhat at 6:51 AM
do I cheer or jeer Vince/Wince Carter tonight. Regardless, it will be an entertaining game tonight.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

This Jay Oh Bee

by chinwhat at 9:52 PM
“Right now, this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, then this would be my career. And well, if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.” © Jim from NBC’s The Office

First off, if you haven’t checked out this show, you should. I find it very amusing. Don’t expect some shitty “Friends” or “Will and Grace” bullshit. This is good solid straight comedy. Very straight forward jokes.

Now I don’t know about any of yall, but do you think of your current employment is your career? I don’t. Sure I started three weeks ago, but still. I figure that a career requires some sort of long term bond/appreciation for each other – which I have none of! Maybe I’m just salty that 1) I can’t surf and turf, 2) I ain’t get paid yet. (Don’t worry bitches, you’ll get your dinner… maybe…) Where’s that NeoCitron money at?!? 3) I’m still having lunch with Me, Myself and I, 4) My cubicle isn’t really a cubicle. Eryone can see what I’m doing when I’m at my desk when the walk by! And it’s a major walk space! Buddy, stop staring at my hot ass! I’m bending under my desk because I need to plug something in you pervert! AND one of my walls fell down! WTF??? 5) I actually have to do work! As if!

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

So…

by chinwhat at 9:45 PM
… I guess the big news for Tuesday was seeing Vida Guerra nekkid. What? You don’t know? Better ask somebody! (But don't ask that fag Dr. T. He doesn't appreciate an ass like hers)

… I guess my boss’ boss CAN see what sites I visit at work. No wonder he told my boss to tell me to stop looking at what I’m looking at. Ayo! (To much left wing/black empowerment/negrofication/keepin it gully/Allah lovin’ I guess)

… I had to pee in a cup for some urine sample stuff for my doctor. Hope they don’t detect that weed I smoked last summer!

… going to bed at 9:30 might sound pretty homosexual, but when I wake up at 5:26, I appreciate that!

… Cabbie is up to his old antics on The Score. Good shit!

… everyone’s on Tiger’s nuts with that shot on Sunday… I guess they should make some suckling room for me since I too was mightily impressed!

... making work friends here is harder than at previous employment places. Damn this sucks! Having lunch solo blows!

… driving to and from work with the windows down does not suck!

… I felt REALLY vulnerable when I had to go to the doctor’s office and he asked me to strip down to my draws and socks. Tapping me here and there (no, not tapping my ass!) Why couldn’t the hot nurse do this?

Lick-a-Lick

by chinwhat at 7:00 AM
Monday meant my first day dolo in my fortress like cubicle. First order of business? Get everything in order. Monitor here, machine there. Clean up the drawer, tie up the cables. The only thing left is to organize this drawer full of receipts. And theres a tonne of them! As early as 2001! So I get to the (literally) dirty task of sorting them out. But yknow how paper sticks together so you lick your finger tip to separate them? Yeah, that’s what I did. Hey, did you know that certain years taste different? For example, 2001 paper tastes a little coppery. A light penny taste on the back of your tongue sensation. 2002? Very organic. Dusty, but organic.

Anyways, I’ll hopefully get these done by Tuesday, but something more important I need for my work space are funky nick nacks and toys. My desk is soooooooooo boring and lame. I need a fake aquarium, a plastic dog, a funky robot or something.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Big Trouble Chin Little China

by chinwhat at 9:45 PM
Today at work, I had lunch in the cafeteria. This is the first time I’ve done this since starting work. I normally take a ten minute walk to the RBC building and enjoy the view there. And by view, I mean the Shaun approved hot office chicks. “Page 3” Yknowwhati’msayin??? (BTW, I saw Sandy C. from high school there. Anyone remember her? She has a big ass now. I guess Cathy’s theory still holds true!) As I lined up to use the microwave, I realized that I had no where to sit! Everyone there had their own crew to sit with. The mechanics with the mechanics. The chemists with the chemists. The sales pigs with the sales pigs at the trough. (Where’s my IT heads you might ask? Doing their own thing! Such anti social behavior!) Anyways, I’m standing by the microwave trying to figure out its preprogrammed timing/power level. And I’m also attempting to not look awkward as I scan the room for an open seat at a single table. Dang, no single tables… The only open table where I can sit down without invading some other crew is a large ten seater. So I grab my hot lunch from the microwave and make my way towards the end of the table. I thought to myself that just maybe some other young, cool, fun employees will sit with me. It could happen, right? There’s a bunch of cool looking people who work here, so… maybe? As I sat there by myself, I surveyed the room. And then it hit me like a tonne of bricks. There are a whole shit load of Chinese people here. I always knew there were some, but not as many as I witnessed! Then at the other end of my table a couple Chinese people sat down for lunch… then their friend… then a couple more and a couple more. Next thing I know, I’m sitting at a table with a whole bunch of Cantonese speaking, rice eating, tea drinking, probably laughing at me, Chinese people! It seemed like a comical situation to me, so I just sat there with a dumb grin on my face. A mini China town with me, sitting in the middle of it…

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Death Becomes Chin

by chinwhat at 9:42 PM
So when I think about death and the afterlife, I’m pretty confident in saying that I’m not afraid to die. Why? Because I believe in life after death and figure whatever happens, I’ll be fine. If I do good, then it'll all work out. But if I don't... oy! Now the thing is, if death knocked on my front door right now and said ‘Alright, the schedule says it’s time. Let’s go’ I wouldn’t want to. I mean, I like it here on earth! I got it great! So does that mean I’m scared to die just because I don't want to even though it's probably better there than here? They probably have all the rotis I could eat!

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Sleep Is Important

by chinwhat at 6:21 PM
Why? Because without it, you fuck up! For example, last night I stayed out watching the NCAA men’s championship game. While I mentally told the fat naked stripper to move out of my view of the jumbo screen, I knew I’d be messed up at work the next day. Lack of sleep makes you do retarded shit. Today, I was making up this work order to fix someone’s computer. As it turned out, it was a director who needed help with his machine. Good thing he’s a good guy because I think if I wrote this to the wrong person, I would’ve lost my job faster than The Natty! When I got to his office to help him out, him and his assistant were cracking up. Needless to say, I put the ‘ass’ in embarrass!


The CDROM on his Dell Laptop appears to be malfunctioning. The error message is “Please insert dick.” The disk does not appear to be the problem as multiple disks fail to read as well.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

A Do Run Run

by chinwhat at 9:53 PM
Congratulations for everyone who came out to participate in TeamID’s annual 8Km race! First, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank our sponsor Ruby Heer for providing us with a delicious post race dinner! Scrumptious!! As for the runners, great job everyone! I’d also like to give props to The Natty for doing so well! I’m sure I’m not the only one who was impressed by her great showing! She’s an example of what benefits come with hard work. As for those who didn’t run, well fuck you! This is a major TeamID event and you not showing is straight bullshit! I’m calling you dickwads out for next year: Cathy, Jon, Shaun and The Dooch. Such asinine behavior I've never seen!

Chin:8K4Life