Monday, May 30, 2005

“Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop” © Puffy/Shaun

by chinwhat at 9:31 PM
Nike’s RunTO was pretty good. Observe:

- At least a 4:1 ratio of girls to guys. I ran the race with three legs y’knowwhatimsayin!
- Large non-white contingent. Asian’s came strong! Lot’s of hot browns too! Combien?
- Taking shelter under a big rig trailer to avoid the rain. You never see the underbelly of those jawns, ever!
- Crazy occurrence of meeting SaraDooch, Christine and the infamous Gina! What’re the odds of that happening? Something like 4 out of 10,000 or so???
- Free propaganda
- TeamCooksvilleMassive representing throughout the whole course. “COOKSVILLE!!!” “BLOP! BLOP!”
- Despite the lack of RAGGAETON! TeamCooksvilleMassive kept it strong with our own renditions of said musical genre as well as some Soca “Follow da leada leada leada. Follow da leada!!”
- Setting PB’s all over this biatch!

So with this under our belts, what’s next? That urban race with a draft pick system. TeamIDAlpha vs TeamIDBeta vs TeamIDGamma vs TeamIDDelta etc with rewards (naturally) and of course, bragging rights! Could this be an annual thing like the 8k? And speaking of the 8k, I endorse tradition, so I vote for it being THE premiere race of the year. Yonge Street 10k and Centre Island and Great Neighbourhood race etc, those, to me, are just supplemental.

FRIENDSTER!!!

Sunday, May 29, 2005

“I Had To Go See About A Girl” © The Greatest Movie of All Time!

by chinwhat at 9:33 PM
“No expectations leads to no disappointments” vs. “Swinging from your heels”

On the one hand, you’ve got a defensive mechanism that protects oneself from getting fucked up. On the other, you’ve got the killer attitude you need to get all the things you want and more! But can you do both at the same time? I mean, if you keep aiming for that grand slam, you’re going strike out eventually right? And striking out sucks! (That’s what? A lap around the diamond each time?) But then again, if you hit that meatball out of the park, you’re a stud, period! On the flip side, if you just hit for singles and doubles, your average willll go up. Who doesn’t like a four hundred hitter? But then again, your RBIs suffer, you won’t reach that upper echelon all-star level and won’t be able to see your record breaking, juiced up baseball sell for Xmillion dollars to some jerk ass comic book guy.

What’s a fella to do?

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Now what?

by chinwhat at 9:46 PM
In Wednesday’s Sauaga Newspaper, the headline was about some guy who died on Creditview on the bridge over the 403. I knew him, kinda. He was the boyfriend of a family friend of ours. I’m not going to front and say we were down. I’ve only met him a couple of times. In the article, it mentioned how Carmelo never wore his seatbelt. He didn’t wear it when he crashed. It’s funny (but not in a ‘ha ha’ funny) how I half think “what a dumbass” and half think “damn that’s fucked” I think that way because I didn’t know him. Just knew of him. I pass by the scene everyday on my way home from work. Jerseys, flowers and signs decorate the sidewalk. My cousin says he was really popular. Loved by many, no doubt. Ionno, I guess life don’t mean shit unless you got people to love… and people who love you.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

20 Palettes of Death, kid!

by chinwhat at 6:35 PM
So I always considered myself to be a quick reacting person. (Not really, but yknow…) So yesterday, I’m walking in the warehouse with my crappy cart delivering a computer to some folks on the other side of our building. I’m walking my walk, minding my business, doing that “doo da do da dooo” that I do. As I walk half way across a bay door, I look to my left and notice a forklift coming straight at me loaded with twenty empty skids or so. I didn’t pull a ‘deer in the headlights,’ but then again, I didn’t exactly pull a ninja gaiden maneuver to avoid a death grizzly death neither. I just did a “uh…” and took three slow-ass steps backwards. If the driver didn’t see me in time, there would’ve been Chin mixed with computer chips and wooden splinters all over the warehouse floor. I’ve always imagined me avoiding an on coming car by first jumping on its hood, then on its roof, only to land safely as the vehicle passed by (a la Kaneda and that motorcycle in Akira) but now I know better: you remember in school, they had that ‘experiment’ where you’d have to pinch the ruler as it dropped between you fingers? I’d get 30+ centimeters.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Jerks

by chinwhat at 8:53 PM
Ever notice that when you break off a hotmail email, on the confirmation page, there's a picture on the far left that says "Money Matters Ask Gordon Pape: Q & A" and the guy is a dead ringer for Mr. Sabetti??!

So tonight's boxing was as interesting as it was disappointing. I was expecting our boxing trainer Andy to show us some new punching combinations that he promised last week. Instead, he had to tend to some new guy. I guess he hasn’t worked out in a while because after doing a little light punching he got dizzy, did that funky chicken dance/tilted walk you do when you get crazy dizzy, and slammed into the wall. Now the interesting part came when half the class seemed genuinely concerned while the other half continued on with their boxing drills (guess which group I fell into!) – as well as shooting off some smart ass/sarcastic remarks such as “that’s what happens when you work out to hard!” and “I guess I shouldn’t have punched him so hard.” But it all worked for him since he was tended to by some random first aid chick who was attractive.

Oh, and a memo to Shaun: everyone in class notices that the chick with the lazy eye has tig o’ bitties, but that’s no excuse for you to not skip and stare at her tatas while she jumps rope. Where’s your shammity, son!??!

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Victory, Not Defeat © YTM

by chinwhat at 9:32 PM
A YTM weekend kicked off with me and the Rainman twins (Chris and Shaun, aptly named for their stalker-esque ability to recall specific information about random women, such as license plates and their favorite past times) at Touch Lounge. I was able to witness Nina’s (aka “George’s hot model friend!” aka “Hook Chris up!! aka “Shaun, don’t CB!!!”) singing power, which I approve of (see two posts ago). Despite some other random singers forgotten Stevie Wonder lyrics moment, I give this splash joint a nod in approval for three simple reasons: 1) they offer food... for free! 2) its very nice and relaxing, and 3) I didn’t die.

On Sunday YTM enjoyed another bike adventure tearing up the mean streets of Mississauga. This time, we decided to hit the hydro corridor along the 403. Aside from the nice view from the random hills and newly discovered yet still under construction mountain bike/XGamish training course, my favorite moment was us wondering through some random forest and Chris pointing out how certain parts look like scenes from the movie Predator ("Bunch of slack-jawed faggots around here! This stuff (chewing tobacco) will make you a god damnned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me!" © Jesse "The Body" Ventura as 'Blain'). Not knowing exactly where we were, that moment flashed me back to early high school days of random bike missions where we’d discover new and interesting places. That in turn reminded me of the television show The Wonder Years and what a hot tamale Winnie was (yet another example of attractive interracial children). I also thought of how fitting the narration at the end of the show's series fanale was:
"Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you’re in diapers, the next day you’re gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place...a town...a house like a lot of houses...a yard like a lot of other yards...on a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is...after all these years...I still look back...with wonder."

Ending the weekend at the great Tremendous restaurant, YTM set a personal best by not only ordering the “Dinner for Two” special, but by finishing it!

Scoreboard:
YTM:1
Dinner for Two: 29


WAR Failed prophecies
WAR Love Live Life
WAR Memories

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Things That Chicks Do That Make Them Less Hotter

by chinwhat at 5:34 PM
- talk how Juliet Lewis looks – like a dumb blonde
- be conceded >looks in Ruby’s direction<
- horks and spits
- can’t walk in high heels
- listens to really shitty music (“The dumb are mostly intrigued by the drum” © Masta Killah)
- complains to much
- talks to much
- has a ‘princess’ attitude
- acts too neurotic
- start (what would eventually be) a shitty anecdote with "My husband..." (or to a lesser extent "My fiance..." or to an even LESSER extenet "My boyfriend...")

Now if some female does these things, it doesn’t make them unhot, it just decreases their hot ratings.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Things That Chicks Do That Make Them Hotter

by chinwhat at 8:26 PM
- work hard: like digging, or shoveling the snow, or cutting the grass
- dress nice
- …‘specially since its all warm outside
- speak with a hot English [not Engrish] accent
- touch you on your arm when they talk to you
- school you at things you thought you knew a lot about
- play sports
- smell nice
- wear nice shoes
- don’t talk about bullshit
- acts a little neurotic

Now if some female does these things, it doesn’t make them hot, it just increases their hot ratings.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Work and Play

by chinwhat at 9:07 PM
So I’m at work and some guy from upstairs (who’s apparently an asshole) comes up to me and says “I just called the help desk about an email issue. Was I speaking to you?”
“uhm, no…”

Turns out he spoke to my coworker.
My Chinese coworker.
My Chinese coworker who has an accent.
My Chinese coworker who has an accent and is a female.

WTF?!?

And as a reply to the emails sent out on Tuesday re: summer students. We got a bunch to who are also ‘sick’ but that’s ‘sick’ as in ‘Ron Sikma’ “You know what I’m sayin!? YouknowwhatI’msayin!? Youknow…” © Will Smith as the Fresh Prince. Part of me sometimes thinks “you really shouldn’t be wearing that. It’s not very ‘professional’” Then my heterosexual side kicked in and said “Fucking Chin, what are you? A fag? Let them bitches wear (or NOT wear) whatever they want!”

In an attempt to make more work friends:
• On Monday I went out and played some basketball with some coworkers. One of the managers in one of the labs asked if I wanted to come out. “Sure!” was my reply. So what could you expect playing 30+year old chemistry nerds? Exactly what you imagine.

• Kinda signed up for the corporate beer league. They play once a week versus other companies in our area. Never played softball before, but it looks pretty weak. I mean, how can you NOT mash the fuck out of that meat ball being tossed at you at 0.34 km/h??

Thursday, May 05, 2005

PWND!

by chinwhat at 9:18 PM
So here’s something good for a laugh on a friday: http://www4.ncsu.edu/~smheath/news14.html

It’s all explained on the site, but I’ll regurgitate:
So Feb of last year, there was a big snow storm. Some local news channel gets the bright idea to have an online applet so local business can input their closing and it’ll show up on the ticker at the bottom of the screen.

Laugh!!! Some of that shit is pretty good. The ‘h4x0r3d’ one is good as is the ‘1337 5p34k Linguisitc Services’. So is the Windows Blue Screen of Death, and the “All Your Base Belong To Us” Laugh!!! There’s also some good ones in the forum link they have! Young nerd humor r0x5!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

It’s All Down From Here… Part 2

by chinwhat at 6:24 PM
So on Monday morning when I get into work, I go see our security guy Tony about some random print stuff. He’s a runner – like a REAL runner. Running shorts, funny looking shades, running shirt that doesn’t chafe the nipples (Unlike mine. Geez, they’re still so sensitive!) – and we generically talk about the weekend. He asks about how the Yonge Street 10k went since I mentioned it the previous week. I knew I’d get punked at our time (official: 1:14:56.5) but I said it anyways: “Oh, about an hour and ten or fifteen minutes” GAT DAMN you should’ve seen the look on his face! For a split second, he did the “get the fuck out of here” look mixed with that head pull back thing that chickens do. It’s that same look you’d give me if I told you that I joined the army >fog horn sound< That look! He did that for an instance until he realized that I wasn’t bullshitting. Then he gave a smile that was about 10% smirk and 90% pity but 100% funny!

I had to defend my/ourselves by reminding Tony that he’s a real runner and “you could probably do 10k in half an hour…”

“Well, at 10k, I’m at about thirty three, thirty four minutes”

“Oh, well we weren’t feeling to good. My friend had a bum ankle and I had these weird cramps…”

After half laughing some more, Tony finally says: “Well, at least you went out and did it”

Touché Tony, touché!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

It’s All Down From Here…

by chinwhat at 8:42 PM
Sunday marked the Yonge Street 10K run. AI was supposed to run with us but he conveniently couldn’t come. I tried getting a hold of him via every imaginable way: email, phone, cell, crackberry etc. I mean, if you can’t get a hold of someone, what’s the point of having all that wireless stuff if you can’t use it? Might as well be stubborn like me and go cellfree! Anyways, as for the race, the weather called for rain, but it was the most PERFECT running weather! Nice and sunny! As for the course, it was pretty easy. Downhill all the way. Sure Chris’ and my time sucked, but it was pretty good considering we were both pretty broken. (Chris with a broken ankle and suffering from Heavy Arm Syndrom, and me with a collapsed lung) It was also cool running and noting the landmarks all up and down Yonge. The Brass Rail, Big Slice Pizza, the Eaton Centre, that Starbucks where the cop ran over that guy with the knife and pinned him between the cruiser and the bike rack, etc etc. AND they had island music all throughout the course. Steel Pan! Soca! Raggae! Personally, this is my favorite race I’ve done so far. I think it was Al who suggested that we use this as our annual TeamID race replacing the Spring 8K Run Off, but I’d have to vote no. I’m a sucker for tradition. Plus I think I’d miss the enjoyable run that this was.

Anywho, can’t wait for the Nike Centre Island 10K. There’s a tonne of propaganda all over the place. And yknow what? I’ll bite. COOKSVILLE MASSIVE REPRESENT!!! On the 10:30 ferry with Chris, bitches!