Monday, January 31, 2005

Research Chin Motion

by chinwhat at 8:00 PM
So I hit the regal (beagle) Holiday Inn on King Street to check out the RIM career fair. Seriously, the applicants do NOT play! I saw a few resumes and they were STACKED full of shit I didn’t even know. All I could think of was “Damn, look at all these ComStars!” And aside from the resumes, how did I know they were ComStars? None of their outfits matched! *pops collar* Anyways, after a solid twenty five minute wait, I get in and decide to talk to one of the tech support people. I figure I’d be able to swing in that department, right? “Damn homie!” © 50 Cent. I got hardcore denied! Like Mount Mutombo in his prime. I got the finger wave and everything! So as she’s explaining to me why I suck, I start thinking: “damn, why’s it getting so hot in here?” Ya’ll know what happens next right? Sweating and shit… damn, I got owned! So what did they need for tech support? Lotus Domino IRT and Novell GroupWise IRT experience. What the fu(k are these?? No wonder I’m unemployed! I got pretty rattled, but decided to man up and head over to the manufacturing table. I mean, I like taking stuff apart… or something… Talk to some brown chick and it went okay. I think I was still shaken up by the tech support incident. Should’ve dropped a “namaste” on her ass. Oh well. *crosses fingers* But one funny thing did happen though. There were a whole gang of folks lining up at the marketing, sales & finance table. As I walked by I made a *snort* *snort* noise that a (sales) pig would make... alright, I didn’t actually do that, but I laughed out loud while I thought about it!

After that, I swung by Cathy's place of employment to drop something off. Yo Cathy, what's up with your co-workers? (T)Sahai asking me shady questions? Kumonon (DIGIVOLVE!) looking me up and down? WTF? That's not kosher, baby!

TD Phone Home

by chinwhat at 9:29 AM
I just got off the phone with some TD HR chick (who’s most likely a dime). Technically this was my second phone interview. This one wasn’t as bad as my first one (I only ended up with mad dry mouth on this one!). Some challupah from D-Link called me and started asking me questions a few weeks ago. I was on some: “WTF?” My sister was in the room punking me because she saw me sweating (yeah, sweating like that!) and dropping gems like: “Uh... I’d have to guess the answer would be.... C” and “I *think* some examples are eighty point one gee and aye or something like that...” Needless to say, I didn’t get the job (but I did get a real interview later on) but I guess it’s for the better. I wouldn’t want Shaun and his TechData co-workers looking down at me and not letting me play with the foosball machine. There’s a Research In Motion job fair downtown I’mma hit later on today. And I know Shaun, for one, hopes I get a spot with them so he can keep dropping his homo joke (pun intended): “How’s the RIM job?”

And I’ve decided to gloss today: Media Monday. So here ya’ll go: A crazy jumping guy. On some Spider-Man type shit! Enjoy! (but I don't know what's up with the music)

Thursday, January 27, 2005

NO FIRKIN WAY!

by chinwhat at 9:09 PM
So my sister tells me that allegedly, The Rooster and The Firkin is closed. WTF? Drove by this evening only to see all the lights off and parking lot empty. Damn. There goes our “the bar...” *pours a little liquor*

Went to AI’s house today. Haven’t seen his mom in a while and I knew what I was going to get. Just as we got to the parking lot, AI said: “you get to talk to my mom now” to which I answered “Yeah, she can call me ‘fag’” Its funny cuz it’s true. We step through the door and…

AI: Mom, guess what I brought home
(from the kitchen)
Mom: Lottery?
AI: Nope
(AI’s mom comes out of the kitchen)
Mom: Oh my! It’s my son’s homo friend!
Me: Hi

laugh

Star Jones

by chinwhat at 11:51 AM
So it’s been two weeks since I’ve been cut off from my Toronto Star subscription. I finally got it back today and can’t wait to get back to the “More Money Needed For TTC” articles by Royson James. (If you don’t read The Star, trust me, that joke was VERY clever and witty!)


Last night was episode two of ShaunChrisChin’s Volleyball Night. It’s set up as part “learn to play” and “play what you learned.” The first thing they did was split the group into the haves, and the have not’s. I was forced to join Shaun and the rest of the ladies in the “have not’s” group. *sigh* While we were being taught how to ‘bump,’ I looked across the gym to Chris and the rest of the guys while they were practicing spikes. *double sigh* So we get our chance to practice bumping to each other. Shaun, my partner tosses the vball to me so I can bump it back. What do I do? SPIKE THAT SH!T BIATCH!! Laugh. Shaun expresses he desire to not be banished from class. Later on that night, we’re put into groups, playing each other etc. The last game has Shaun’s team vs. my team. Laugh, I guess Shaun’s been doing not so great the whole night: When he attempted an overhand serve which landed square into the net, the black guy on his team (who coincidently happens to be the best – go figure right?) turned his head with disgust and said: “Just serve underhand!” This was followed by a heavy eye roll and disapproving head shake. So me being me, I laugh. The best way to describe my reaction is with our conversation on the way home, Shaun said: “Chin had that ‘oooooooooooooooo, you got in troublllllllllllllllllleeee’ look.” Indeed I did! The guy even pleaded with the program guy “I’ll work with him, I’ll work with him!” Then to Shaun: “Come 15 minutes early!” Laugh, we’re coming 20 min early next week!


That okay Shaun, I randomly found this blog that should make you feel better

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

“Ice to meet you”

by chinwhat at 1:11 PM
So last night, I was going through another session of “midnight snow removal from my driveway.” I don’t know what it is, maybe the warm orange glow, quite bustle of the branches, but there’s something calming about shoveling snow late at night – aside from the back breaking labor that is. But what’s really cool is having a bunch of your neighbors do it along with you. These are the times I get to meet and greet. I began conversing with my neighbor that way. Her name’s Asha. She’s brown but from Trinidad (“Trini in da house!”) and works in a bakery. She’s so nice; she hooks me up with some lovely cinnamon rolls! And my neighbor on the other side? They’re Italianos. The grandfather’s nice. He doesn’t speak a word of English, but we still say ‘hi.’ This winter they got a new snow blower and grandpa Gepetto was using it not only to clear their drive, but ours too! So I say to him: “Is that what Santa left you for Christmas?” “Si, si, si” was his reply with a sort of dismissive wave. Oh yeah, forgot he doesn’t speaka-the-a-language, so I just break out the “Gracie, gracie!” “Prego, prego.” And as Shaun and I would say: “Sir, you’ve got a hot grand daughter!”

Monday, January 24, 2005

The Day After Toronto

by chinwhat at 10:09 PM
So we all know how crazy the snow was on Saturday. And if you don’t well, it was pretty, uh, snowy. So I make my oft traveled trip downtizzown. But not for some treasure hunting, but to apply at some job fair TD Bank is having. They start at 9:30, but since I decided to sleep in, I arrived at 12:10ish. I mean, its crazy snowing outside, there’s hardly gonna be anyone there right? “Wrong. WRONG!!” © Charlie Murphy. Effing lobby was full! You’d think they were giving something away for free! Damn lots of brown people too! And Chinese! In fact, there were hardly any white people. Except for the HR people there. (Which reminds me: my theory still holds true – even though that would disqualify it as a theory – that “theory” being that a majority human resource chicks are, at the lowest, attractive, if not, hot. Like Gat Damn! And white chicks ain’t even my preference!) So anyways, they’re hiring only part time/casual tellers for a paltry $12 an hour. Now I hate it when I think I’m above anything, but I’m above that! $12/hr? 15 hours a week? If that? Not even guaranteed? GTFOOHWTBS!!! So after spending about four hours waiting for an ‘interview’ and about three minutes actually talking/trying-to-be-cool to the HR chick, I walk outside. I swear it looked like some zombie movie where the whole downtown core was DESERTED!!! It was pretty cool at the same time as being creepy. It was on some “Let’s loot” type of vibe! Anywho, after the four hour wait, I needed some nourishment. Unfortunately, my plan to head to St. Lawrence market for some “rock rockin’ it” eggplant sangwich got nixed thanks to the markets early closing time. Instead, I head up to some random wino joint up on Bathurst and Queen called The Barn… except I didn’t know it was a wino hang out until I got in. Zoinks!!! So what do I decide to do? Have lunch! So there’s one table of old guys drinking beer out of tiny glasses. Y’know, the type of glasses you’d find at a garage sale for a quarter. That size. Smaller than small. Petite I guess you could say (what?) The table next to me three guys (or was one a girl?) of one Indian (feather, not dot) and two gwy lows. As I’m enjoying my cheeseburger, I eaves drop on the two groups to see what wino’s talk about when in the company of others. Items discussed:
- how the government sucks (yes, from the ‘feather’ table)
- the decision to throw away a whole bunch of records, but keeping some Beatle ones ((in drunken slur) “Oh, that’ll be worth A LOT of money some day!”) because…
- “there’s a NEW type of CD coming out”
- healthy eating. “Gotta watch what you’re eating! All this fried food will kill you!” (said person chases that statement with a swig of beer)
- steel bands are an easy instrument to play because you only have to hit the spot with the number on it…
- but sounds good. Especially classical music played on steel pan. (!)

And the ride home? Fu(king Sauga bus driver! Turn the heat ON. How do I know it wasn’t on? Well, aside from me shivering for the entire route, there was frost on the INSIDE of the windows and snow on the seats. Snow! SNOW!!! Snow. On. The. Seats. On the seats! Inside a bus!


>sneeze<

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Shaun of the Dread

by chinwhat at 8:37 PM
So Friday night, ShaunJ and I make a trip to our friendly neighbourhood Mississauga Valley Community Centre. So I’m trying to get through my stairmasterizing after feeling quite ill since I saw Mr. Kirsten Dunst on the cover of Teen People (which I didn't read. I'm a "YM" guy myself). And I thought the CN Tower climb was taxing on the lungs! As my Jewish friends would say: “Chaloshes! Chaloshes I tells ya!” Anywho, we go through our regular routine: checking out ourselves in the mirror and crossing off look-a-likes from our “celebrity’s-who-work-out-here” list. (This night’s celebs? Richard Moll aka Bull from “Night Court” and Andy Serkis aka Gollum/Smeagol from “Lord of the Rings.” We also noted that it has been quite a while since we’ve seen the disheveled version of Rebel Billionaire: Sir Richard Branson.) We make our way to the men’s locker room. I’m pulling all of our stuff out of the locker making my usual effort to mind my own business/block out all the other guys in there (read: nekkid) Out come my tear-aways and my back pack. As I put on my coat, I catch a glance at Shaun’s face (laugh x 1000). What’s on it? Well, the only way I could explain it was he had a look of part disgust, part scowl and a hint of disappointment. The best way I could get you to understand is like this: imagine you’re working. The end of your shift is near. Your ass is hungry - no “hunGRAY!” And you know you got some good leftovers in the fridge waiting for you at home. You can taste it! You know – for a FACT that it’ll taste delicious (“Look at him!”) because all the flavors have been mix and mingling all night. Smacking your lips, mouth watering, the whole nine! You reach home. Open up the refrigerator door and motion to grab the tupperware container only to find that the meal you’ve been craving for isn’t there. It’s gone! "FU(K!!!" Your mom threw it out... Picture it: Yeah, THAT look. So, what was he fixating his judgmental laser beam stare at? My peripheral vision (I swear I try not to notice!) picked up some wrinkled prune of a man. Buck naked old guy grooming himself in the mirror. Now Shaun and I both had this discussion before: that it is both extremely unnecessary and very gross to have some naked man blow drying his blue tinted white hair while his leather sack is resting on the counter top. Dropping all sorts of little curly hairs and who knows what else into the sink. Like Gat Damn!!! Please, couldn’t you mix in a pair of shorts? A towel at the very least? If not for the easily impressionable boys who’d think they’re not packing, then for the uncomfortable Shaun?

Friday, January 21, 2005

Friday

by chinwhat at 1:18 PM
Ain't got anything to spew about so look at this clip and have a good weekend.

(Don't worry, its work safe)

Funny: she's all "fuck, my head!" while the guys are all pumped up!

AFTERNOON EDIT:
Listen to Casey Casem cuss. I'd have to say its almost as good as Gord Martneau's spew... almost...

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Me vs. Shaun

by chinwhat at 3:03 PM
***Arrogance Disclaimer: Chin will be referring to himself in third person***

So last night Chris, Shaun and Chin had our first volleyball class. Well, due to the lack of attractive female's Mr. Brown was expecting, he was quite disappointed. But as long as we get some volleyball in right? Anywho, on the way home, Chin wondered how hard it would be to teach a volleyball class. Chin figured, it wouldn't be to difficult. All they did last night was set us up into random teams and let us play while we were 'evaluated.' Shaun strongly disagreed and said Chin couldn't. Ah, another classic example of "Chin's faith vs Shaun's doubt." Maybe he was just mad cuz almost everytime Chin served to him, he struggled to return it. Hopefully next week when they split the class into the "semi-pros who grasp at former days of glory" and "beginners who can't hang w/the big boys," Chin'll be in the former, rather than the latter.

"Get back muhfucker! You don't know me like that!" (c) Luda

Bump-set-spike:Chin

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Star Gossip!

by chinwhat at 5:39 PM
So...


The San Antonio Spurs' Tony Parker is going out with Desperate House Wive's Eva Longoria.

No real point to this entry except for me to type some french. "Mon dieu!"

... and search for some EL...

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Please allow me to rant:

by chinwhat at 1:41 PM
- Well, a NewYearsResolution bites the dust: no StrictlySalsa classes courtesy of Mississauga Parks and Rec. Damn class is full. And I blame no one but Shaun J. for taking to long to sign up. “My wallet’s in the car” “Let’s sign up tomorrow” Fuck! Now if I happen to be at a club. And salsa comes on, I’ll have to step off the dance floor… more so…
- Stupid spyware! So Internet Explorer has weaknesses? Nooooooo way! Damn MS. I though installing my new hard drive would be easy with today’s technology. “Wave of the Future!” “Tomorrow Today!” Right? “Wrong. WRONG!” © Charlie Murphy. Firefox, here I come!
- Been catching a lot of heat for my current “singlehood” status over the last weekend. I know what my status is. I don't need to be reminded! I'm reminded everytime I go home! And: “Scoreboard. Scoreboard.” Think I don’t know what the “Scoreboard” is?? If anyone knows how long it’s been since I had an S.O., its me! Ya’lls don’t need to remind me!
- I’m not saying pregnant chicks turn me on. I don’t go to preggy porn. But when I usually see pregnant women, I appreciate their glow. I think: wow, they look beautiful! They're about to give life! Beautiful! ... except for Nalini. Damn girl, what happened??!!? Face all... yknow...
- How come I don’t have that many friends on my Friendster?
- You know those bed sheets that are fitted to cover the mattress? The ones with the elastic? Why do they have to be so hard to fold?? I mean, I just spent a lot of time ironing these ‘yatches! In fact, why do I have to iron bed sheets, comforters and covers? My ironing board ain’t that long! AND why does my iron use up so much water so fast! Every 14 minutes I gotta top this thing up!

*rant over*

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Those three words... Pt. 2

by chinwhat at 9:34 PM
Long story... uh, less long... So unfortunatly LeSabreNation is sick. My dad took her out to Bombardier out at Keele and Weston. When he tried to start her up, she didn't want to. I brought out a new battery, no good. We got a new starter. Jacked up LeSabreNation, took a look at her under carriage. Got our hands all dirty w/grease and grime. Took out bolts and nuts and shit. But we couldn't get it on. To much stuff in the way. Then we're waiting for a tow truck. Basically spent the whole day with my old man trying to fix her/waiting for a tow/getting parts/driving him to work. So he just calls and wants me to pick him up when he's done. We end the chit chat like this: "What time are you done work?" "I'm done at eleven." "Okay, I'll be there." "Okayloveyoubye" >click< laugh. Man, he said it sooooooo fast and hung up I didn't even have time to blink a reaction! Laugh...

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Those three words…

by chinwhat at 1:20 PM
Yeah, THOSE three words. The ones that mean so much yet are said so sparingly. One of the major things I wanted to do this year was say them to my parents and sister. (I don’t think I’ve ever told them in all of my years of existance) I’ve wanted to say this for about a year. A week or so ago, I was having some delicious delicious Pho at our friendly neighborhood Pho restaurant where I decided to say it to my sister. Now I wasn’t exactly sure what her reaction would’ve been, but I was sure she was going to punk me. Well, she didn’t*. It most definitely caught her off guard. She replied with a cautious “… okay…” to which I answered back: “Okay, now you have to say it” except since I know the way she is, I had to follow my request with: “… and mean it.” Ah sweeter words I’ll never hear! That night I told my mom. Her reaction with a smile on her face was “I know! You don’t have to tell me!” But I did. And I do. So those two were relatively “easy.” Next, my dad. Oy! Several times since last year, It’s always been “K, I’ll say it today, I’ll say it today” Flame out! So finally this morning, my dad’s in my room printing some stuff off the computer. He’s done and starts to make his way out… that’s when I drop it. His reply? “I know. You don't have to tell me.” Its funny cuz both my mom and my dad had the exact reply. And neither of them had an emotional reaction! It's almost as if they don't want to hear it (obviously not true, just... yknow...) Maybe that’s why I’m labeled as cold. Now looking back, it does seem kind of puss for me to chicken out like that for so long. But I must say, it feels pretty good to get it out. And ya’ll should too! I don’t know how often you get to drop that line, but you should. On your mom and your dad. Your brothers. Your sisters. If not for you, then for them. They’ll appreciate that!

*Yeah, I was in the washroom brushing my teeth later that night and I could hear my sister talking to her best friend on the phone punking me! Such punkage! Laugh…

Saturday, January 08, 2005

So *THIS* is what happens when you turn 26…

by chinwhat at 8:28 PM
So I’m in the washroom cutting my hair. And I start examining myself. No, not “turn your head and cough” examining. I’m looking at my face. Analyze my cheeks. That part under my lip and above my chin. My hair line. Bags under my eyes… Thinks to self: “Wow, I look old….. der…” Recalled a moment from Christmas holidays where I was at my uncle Allan Houston’s house (yes, Allan Houston of the New York Knicks). I was playing the board game Life with some other kids/teens/young adults. So we’re going through our motions etc etc. And my turn came where I needed to get paid from the bank. The banker wasn’t paying attention so my twoish year old second cousin Paryse goes up to the banker and says in her high pitched cute voice: “that man needs money” “Awwwwwwwwwww” was my reply. It didn’t even register with me that I was called a ‘man’ until today! AND I’m not even upset about it! It didn’t even faze me! Then I freaked out. “Wow, being called a ‘man’ doesn’t bother me no more!!!”

F*cked up about not being f*cked up for being called ‘man’ -chin


WAR Season 5: Episode where Homer decides to teach a night class on how to build a successful marriage. He picks up a dictionary and reads to his class: “Webster defines wedding as ‘the process of removing weeds from one’s yard’” Ah that shit is f*cking gold!