Wednesday, June 29, 2005

"Look at him... He loves it!"

by chinwhat at 5:59 PM

Dave Chappelle loves World of Warcraft

Famed and elusive comic praises Blizzard's popular MMORPG at San Francisco nightclub appearance.

After indefinitely abandoning work on his hit Chappelle's Show, comedian Dave Chappelle absconded to South Africa to escape the fallout. Since returning to the US, he has made several unannounced appearances at Los Angeles comedy clubs, and this week played two little-publicized shows at the Punchline in San Francisco.

At his San Francisco gigs, Chappelle revealed he has also been getting away to a place farther off than Johannesburg--Azeroth, no less. Attendees to Chappelle's Tuesday night show said the comedian voiced his love of a certain popular MMORPG from Blizzard Entertainment.

"You know what I've been playing a lot of?" the comedian reportedly asked the crowd. "World of Warcraft!" When a few cheers broke out, he reportedly responded, "I knew I had some geek brothers and sisters up in here!" Chappelle also was said to have expressed his amusement seeing WoW characters with names referring to his most famous sketches, including a rogue called "I'm Rick James, B****."

Chappelle is a long-standing and vocal fan of games. Most famously, he did a Grand Theft Auto parody on his highly rated (and now in limbo) sketch series, the second season of which has shattered sales records on DVD. He also reportedly turned down a major role in GTA: San Andreas, although his Chappelle's Show costar Charlie Murphy voiced a San Fierro pimp in the game.

***********
All I have to say about that is: "Wow!"

Monday, June 27, 2005

THE YOUTH MOVEMENT

by chinwhat at 6:08 PM
My second favorite The Youth Movement Story:
I'm at one of those Paradigm Retail sales at the International Centre with Cathy. We're lined up and in front of us is my sister and her friend Mel. A few spots in of them is Mel's brother's fiance. As the line snakes towards the cashiers, I'm talking to my sister. Beth says to Mel's brother's fiance that I'm her brother to which she replies back to my sister: "I didn't know you had a younger brother!"


My new favorite The Youth Movement Story:
Thursday night was my sister's graduation ceremony at Humber College. Since my dad couldn't go, I went with my mom. My sister met one of her classmates and introduced us. Later on that night, my sister says to us "You'll like this; my friend said you looked really young mom. And kuya, she asked how old you were. I said 'He's turning 27' and she said 'Really?! I thought he was in highschool!'"


-Chin, YTM

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Plum Ass >smacks lips<

by chinwhat at 8:58 PM
The Body & Soul of Jessica Alba
Meet the 21st-century pinup
By ALLISON GLOCK

What is it about Jessica that makes u obsessed about her? Of course she's beautiful. But is there something else?? Maybe it's a magical curse. I dunno. Would I have been better off not knowing she existed so she wouldn't be on my mind so much?
--from one of the hundreds of Alba fan sites

"I got plenty of ass."

Jessica Alba is hiking in Hollywood's Runyon Canyon with one hand gripping her left cheek. She is talking about her body. The body. Hers of the mesmerizing torso showcased to full, undulating perfection in several films, most recently Sin City and in this month's summer opus Fantastic Four, and bested only by the aforementioned ass, a heart-shaped beauty that sends men into fits of sputtering praise, but an ass that Alba nonetheless believes is a tad too large.

"I hear people in this industry talking shit all the time about how Jennifer Lopez is fat," she says tersely. "And I know if they're calling her fat, they're saying the same shit about me."

Rightly, Alba worries about this. At twenty-four, she has, thus far in her acting career, been largely defined by her body. Of her last eight films, she has been nearly naked in seven. She is five feet six and a half, 34-25-34, and weighs 120 pounds, depending upon her training schedule. But the numbers tell little of the story. Even beneath the baggy sweats she favors, Alba's body is a marvel of feminine proportion. A siren song. Everything slopes and curves where it should. Nothing juts or strains. Muscles blend into soft arcs.

As a result, Alba has consistently been ranked in the top ten on various men's-magazine fuckability polls. Web sites devoted to her celebrity hammer on her hotness with creepy persistence. Mark Wahlberg's reality-infused HBO show Entourage devoted an entire story arc to the conquest of Alba, her body hounded like the Holy Grail of scores by the young male cast, a quest Wahlberg himself has supposedly pursued in real life. Us Weekly even reported the rumor that Alba was Tom Cruise's first choice for a publicity girlfriend -- the plum position ultimately handed over to default pick Katie Holmes. The thinking: Alba's carnal appeal is so powerful it could endear Mr. Cruise to a youth audience and affirm his virility once and for all.

She is good-humored about the scrutiny, but she confesses the one-note quality of it all is starting to wear her out. "The scripts I get are always for the whore, or the motorcycle chick in leather, or the horny maid," Alba says as she climbs a hill, panting slightly. "I get all these screenplays that start, 'Tawnya is in the shower. The water streams down her naked, perky breasts.' " She sighs, then laughs a tired laugh. "I don't think this is happening to Natalie Portman."

There are many reasons for this, and Alba, to her credit, has a firm grasp on most of them. Cast as she is, she hasn't yet had much opportunity to "act." The closest she comes to a scene-stealing turn is as one of the popular snots in Never Been Kissed, where she is indisputably funny and natural. The rest of her curriculum vitae -- including schlocky thrillers, the short-lived James Cameron sci-fi television series Dark Angel and the ill-conceived hip-hop-heroine picture Honey -- is less impressive. Her turn in Sin City stands out, but largely because Alba plays a stripper with a heart of gold. And a lasso.

"It's not always so great to be objectified," she says. "But I don't feel I have much of a choice right now. I'm young in my career. I know I have to strike when the iron is hot."

Alba plans to capitalize on her God-given assets for the moment, saturate the market with her sultry image and then, when she "won't have to do that stuff just to get people's attention," she hopes to transition into someone like Diane Keaton or Goldie Hawn, women she admires for their kookiness and pluck. "I look forward to the day when I can do a small movie and act," Alba says, "and it's not about me wearing a fucking bathing suit or chaps."

Problem is, Alba isn't kooky. Kooky does not come with plum lips and amber skin and a beckoning grin. Alba, for better or worse, is a babe. More than that, she is a certain strain of babe -- the kind that invites rather than intimidates. She is a good girl, playing a bad girl. Her face is open and warm. She smiles often. She is fresh-scrubbed. She never struts, but ambles. She has normal-size breasts and no plans to enhance them. She points to pimples on her forehead and laughs. She eats -- a lot. In short, she is girlfriend material, and it is this accessibility, when married to her liquid body, that makes her walking kryptonite -- an effect in evidence whenever she exits the house and leaves a trail of double takes in her wake. Men on the street take note initially because she is pretty, but then, as she walks closer, it registers -- "Man, that's Jessica Alba!" -- and the admiration explodes into palpable desire.

"She doesn't even notice it," says her close friend and sometime personal trainer Ramona Braganza. "We went into Starbucks in Ohio, and all these guys were falling all over themselves and whispering. She had no idea."

Alba herself tells a charmingly naive story about how in L.A. she is never able to dine alone.

"Everyone feels bad for you," she says. "For some reason, waiters, cooks, they all have to come out and talk to you: 'How's the food? Did someone not show up?' I'm like, 'No, I'm reading my book. I'm totally happy.' "

When it is suggested that perhaps these concerned gentlemen emerge specifically to see her, that surely not every gal eating solo gets the pity party, Alba shakes her head. "Men in Los Angeles get uncomfortable when a woman is by herself," she says. "Unless she's shopping."

On any other actress, such an observation would smack of disingenuousness, but somehow Alba pulls it off. Maybe because she has been acting since she was twelve and has already in her short lifetime "had periods where I was in everybody's face and times when nobody knew who I was."

Alba has already been back and forth on the celebrity trip and has decided, ultimately, "Fuck it." Now she ignores fame completely, staying in a bubble of her creation, a sunny, insular place where life is as deliciously sweet as she wills it to be. A place where men talk to her because they are kind, not horned up. A place where the future has nothing to do with her haircut or her high-riding buttocks.

"I don't need to be famous," she says adamantly. "I'm not that ambitious. At this point, if I'm not sucked in, I'm never going to get sucked in. Being the so-called hot girl, I disconnect from that. It's not that deep."

(Excerpted from RS 977-978, June 30, 2005)
(Posted Jun 16, 2005)

Saturday, June 18, 2005

laugh

by chinwhat at 9:00 PM


that is all...

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

The Long Ride Home

by chinwhat at 8:20 PM
Q: How many mistakes can you spot?

June 14, 2005
7:32pm - Driving east on the QEW from Erin Mills. I’ve just purchased a doubles and chicken roti. Thinks to self “boy, I wonder if this’ll be better than Bara’s Hut’s roti and doubles” Continues to think of all the possible differences.

7:35pm - Realizes that I’ve missed the Hwy10 exit due to too much roti thinking.

7:49pm - Reaches home and proceeds to eat roti and chicken. “Delicious!” I think to myself. “Hot too!” So hot in fact, my teeth become numb. Throws in the towel. “Besides, I can save this for breakfast tomorrow!”

June 15, 2005
6:18am - Sitting on the shitter and thinking to self “Hot going in, hot going out! Gat damn!”

6:34am - Thinking “Mmmmm! Day old roti with the shell a little dry and chewy due to microwaving!”

8:29am - Already at work and then I feel it: “Uh oh… (breaths in) I don’t feel so good…”

8:56am - “No really… I hope I don’t have to take a dump here at work.”

9:50am - In cafeteria buying a Canada Dry “Hope this works!”

10:06am - “Sho does!”

Random times throughout the day – Random, but controlled farts.

3:16pm – Heats up leftover lasagna from Sunday night

3:18pm – Tastes it and realizes “Hmmm… this lasagna isn’t hot… ah well… “

4:10pm – “Ugghhh… stomach REALLY doesn’t feel good…”

4:11pm – “…must …hold … on…”

4:16pm – “Okay, I’m good, I’m good…”

4:17pm – “Uggghhhhhhh!!!!” I continue to breath in deeply until I’m ready to leave…

4:18pm – I losen my belt…

4:31pm – To coworker who’s supposed to show me something new: “I gotta go. I don’t feel so good… gotta go home and take a dump!”

4:35pm – I power walk to RSXNation

4:39pm – At Creditview and Old Creditview: yellow and red light. “Shit!”

4:41pm – Over the Credit River, I think to myself “damn this seatbelt is tight! If I got into a car accident, my ass would explode! How embarrassing…”

4:43pm – Creditview and Britannia: Red light “(exhales) Okay, I’m okay…”

4:46pm - Creditview and Eglinton: Red light “It’s okay, I’m almost there… it’s okay… uuuggghhhh…”

4:50pm – Fairview and Confederation: Red light “So close! Yet so far… oh!”

4:53pm – Pull up to my drive and run up the stairs

4:54pm – Relief… sure its stomach churning, “hot going out” relief, but relief none the less. “Tough one, eh?” “Yes, yes indeed!”

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Who Wants To Go Home...

by chinwhat at 9:30 PM
1) With the recent news, I now know I want to go to the Destiny's Child concert. Who's down? I need to see me some Kelly Rowland before it's to late - she's so dreamy! >fluttery hearts<


2) Not Work Safe - For Shaun, Chris, Jon, Dave Chappelle... basically anyone who likes titays... "Look at yall! You love it! Just like the encyclopedia said!"

Monday, June 13, 2005

… Zing! …

by chinwhat at 5:33 PM
… Old English co-worker who’s pushing 60 years+: “Who removed the phone jack in the west lab? Because they did a great job!”

Moi: “Not me, but I wish I did so I could get the… uh… the uh…”
(thinking: “damn, what’s another word for ‘props’ that this old guy’ll understand?”)
“… uh… so I could get the… kudos” (laugh, “kudos”!?!?, laugh) …

… Zing! …

… My cousin who works at Wonderland didn’t want to work on Saturday. It also happened to be brown day at Wonderland. His brother says “You don’t want to work because it’ll be hot AND spicy” …

… Zing! …

… In a recent Rob F. sighting, he was over heard explaining why he didn’t want to meet anymore former classmates from Goetz (read: us). “It is what it is. It is what it is.” …

… Zing! …

… Fellow Gym-ite acquaintance asked me what Shaun’s background was. Since Shaun wasn’t there to speak for himself, I answered: “He’s Indian.” …

… Zing! …

… I decided to buy a popsicle on Thursday since it was hot. It was one of those double popsicles – the one split in two with the two sticks. I tried to crack it down the middle. Instead, it broke at the top. I hate it when that happens! …

… Zing! …

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Dress To Impress

by chinwhat at 4:47 PM
Friday.
Fridays.
Casual Fridays.
Finally a day when I can dress less formally.
Tuck in my shirt?
“Puck dat shet!”
“Puck dat shet! It’s casual Friday biatch!”
Decided to wear my barong tagalog.
It’s nice.
It’s cool.
It’s not tucked in.
It’s casual Friday.
Flips gave it props.
“That’s a barong tagalog!”
“It sho is!”
“It’s nice!”
“It sho is!”
Browns gave it props.
“That’s a nice shirt”
“It sho is!”
“Does it button all the way to the bottom?”
”It sho don’t”
”We have something like that too!”
”Ya’ll sho do!”
Even gwy lo’s gave it props.
“Oooh, satin!” she purred.
Fuck I love this attention!

WAR Casual Fridays.
WAR Barongs.
WAR Hot weather.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Whoa Homo!

by chinwhat at 9:57 PM
I know we all love those online evaluation tests since they’re so (in)accurate, which is why I’ll post the latest two I’ve done:

I took this Gay-O-Meter quiz online and I got a 43%. Apparently, I’m a “happy and well adjusted hetro man!” That’s cool I guess, but some of the questions were pretty random. “Did you like playing the cowboy or the Indian?” WTF???

On the same page, you can also do an evaluation to find out how picky you are (as well as a whole bunch of other tests. Just refresh the page to find more!) This result:
27% “Could be pickier!” Your willingness to look beyond the surface for other qualities shows that you are grounded in reality when looking for a relationship. Just beware of going with the flow to much and settling for ‘Ok’ instead of ‘fantastic’.

In theory, this is like those crappy horoscopes people read. A little random blurb to see if it relates to you… How accurate are these? Well, I guess ya'll would be the best judges for that question...

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Pussy On Parade

by chinwhat at 8:51 PM
Or Life’s A Beach

With such glorious weather, it, quite frankly, is a crime to spend such time indoors. This is why TeamID’s YTM headed out to the side where the sun rises, armed with a football, volleyball and an appetite for some fun.

The Beaches was littered with sun worshipers, sports enthusiasts, families, attention seekers and gawkers (like me). As the Fatback Band sang: “Summer time is girl watching time.” We made our way from the most eastern end of the boardwalk towards the west where the volleyball nets were, it was really nice to see everyone outside having a good time. Smiles and shades (and titays!) all around! The volleyball courts were pretty packed. They had a tourney going on their so we had to find an empty one a few courts down. We eventually found one not to far from where one of the female games were. (Yall’s know my take on that, right?! “Schwing!” © Wayne Campbell) We were playing 2 vs. 1 (or 1 vs. 2) and that really fucking sucks. So why don’t we ask the brown chicks besides us – who were also playing 1 vs. 2 (errrrr 2 vs. 1) to play with us! Add a couple random Chinese folks, and we got a nice 4 on 4 going on. Sadly, the tournament owners eventually took our net away and we were stuck, not diving for volleyballs, but for footballs – which isn’t that sad… actually, it was quite fun.

After a bunch of that, Shaun started shitting on us to not bring sand into RSXNation2K5. Yes, fucking Gestapo! He wanted us to wash at the water station in order to clear all the “dust” from our legs and feet. So me being me, demanded he wash my feet… and he did! Ask Chris! If only I had pics to show everyone… So we’re walking down the boardwalk, back to the car and Shaun needed some money for some ice cream action (since he conveniently left his wallet in the car) I wound up paying for his and Chris’ Sponge Bob Square Pants popsicles. Two bigger homos I’ve never seen in my life! … alright, I kinda felt left out but >meh<

Ended the trip at a golf/tennis club bistro by the water enjoying some D licious burgers >burp< ... All in all, a fun day. Sure we didn’t get a chance to do our 75km bike adventure this year (sorry Rubes! Maybe next year) but this beach life is the good life.