Adventures In Babysitting
by chinwhat at 11:43 p.m.
Today I had the absolute pleasure of taking care of my niece today. I was pretty hyped for it, even though I knew it wouldn’t be easy. Sure, I had to take care of her solo for a whole two hours, but still, I ain’t never done this before.
My sister leaves for school leaving me alone with Kiara who just turned 2 a couple weeks ago and gatdamn, she started crying and had the saddest face I’ve ever seen on anyone in my life. IN. MY. LIFE!!! So after about fifteen minutes of her standing by the door looking real sad (and me feeling really helpless) I finally got her back to the family room – thanks to some random candy – and we got down to watching some Finding Nemo… for about twelve minutes. Followed by ten minutes of A Bugs Life… then Monster’s Inc. for a record thirty six odd minutes… and then switch back to Finding Nemo…. Oy!!! Eventually, it was time for the dreaded diaper change. I always thought it was pretty odd to smell the ass of a baby in order to determine if they shat or not, but hey, if it ain’t broke… As I began changing her diaper, I began to giggle/laugh. What was going through my head? “What if I get pooh all over her? Or all over me? What if the pooh is all smeared all over the place? Do I have enough wipes? What if she starts peeing?” etc etc etc. The funny part (aside from the two shades of defication) is that while I was laughing, so was she! So I did the best I could do. Pretty pleased with myself... until my sister gets back and had to redo it. OP! laugh...
If I had to rate myself, I think I’d give myself a pass. Sure it was a paltry two hour gig, and sure she made a pretty good mess, and sure I couldn’t get her to eat anything unsweet and unhealthy, and sure she spilled a cup of orange juice all over the couch – and herself of course, and sure I had to do some fu(ked up Beyonce-type-“Uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh” dance to keep her entertained, but I think I did a pretty good/not to shabby/could’ve be worse/she’s still in one piece job!
- Chin in Charge
My sister leaves for school leaving me alone with Kiara who just turned 2 a couple weeks ago and gatdamn, she started crying and had the saddest face I’ve ever seen on anyone in my life. IN. MY. LIFE!!! So after about fifteen minutes of her standing by the door looking real sad (and me feeling really helpless) I finally got her back to the family room – thanks to some random candy – and we got down to watching some Finding Nemo… for about twelve minutes. Followed by ten minutes of A Bugs Life… then Monster’s Inc. for a record thirty six odd minutes… and then switch back to Finding Nemo…. Oy!!! Eventually, it was time for the dreaded diaper change. I always thought it was pretty odd to smell the ass of a baby in order to determine if they shat or not, but hey, if it ain’t broke… As I began changing her diaper, I began to giggle/laugh. What was going through my head? “What if I get pooh all over her? Or all over me? What if the pooh is all smeared all over the place? Do I have enough wipes? What if she starts peeing?” etc etc etc. The funny part (aside from the two shades of defication) is that while I was laughing, so was she! So I did the best I could do. Pretty pleased with myself... until my sister gets back and had to redo it. OP! laugh...
If I had to rate myself, I think I’d give myself a pass. Sure it was a paltry two hour gig, and sure she made a pretty good mess, and sure I couldn’t get her to eat anything unsweet and unhealthy, and sure she spilled a cup of orange juice all over the couch – and herself of course, and sure I had to do some fu(ked up Beyonce-type-“Uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh” dance to keep her entertained, but I think I did a pretty good/not to shabby/could’ve be worse/she’s still in one piece job!
- Chin in Charge
1 Comments:
Wow Chin the domesticated babysitter/entertainer! Sounds like you did a good job, one thing that I noticed that works when a kid crys is to ignore them and not plead and beg with them. Don't totally abandon them but just don't go nuts trying to stop them cause they usually have the upper hand, sneaky little critters I tell ya!
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