The Day After Toronto

So we all know how crazy the snow was on Saturday. And if you don’t well, it was pretty, uh, snowy. So I make my oft traveled trip downtizzown. But not for some treasure hunting, but to apply at some job fair TD Bank is having. They start at 9:30, but since I decided to sleep in, I arrived at 12:10ish. I mean, its crazy snowing outside, there’s hardly gonna be anyone there right? “Wrong. WRONG!!” © Charlie Murphy. Effing lobby was full! You’d think they were giving something away for free! Damn lots of brown people too! And Chinese! In fact, there were hardly any white people. Except for the HR people there. (Which reminds me: my theory still holds true – even though that would disqualify it as a theory – that “theory” being that a majority human resource chicks are, at the lowest, attractive, if not, hot. Like Gat Damn! And white chicks ain’t even my preference!) So anyways, they’re hiring only part time/casual tellers for a paltry $12 an hour. Now I hate it when I think I’m above anything, but I’m above that! $12/hr? 15 hours a week? If that? Not even guaranteed? GTFOOHWTBS!!! So after spending about four hours waiting for an ‘interview’ and about three minutes actually talking/trying-to-be-cool to the HR chick, I walk outside. I swear it looked like some zombie movie where the whole downtown core was DESERTED!!! It was pretty cool at the same time as being creepy. It was on some “Let’s loot” type of vibe! Anywho, after the four hour wait, I needed some nourishment. Unfortunately, my plan to head to St. Lawrence market for some “rock rockin’ it” eggplant sangwich got nixed thanks to the markets early closing time. Instead, I head up to some random wino joint up on Bathurst and Queen called The Barn… except I didn’t know it was a wino hang out until I got in. Zoinks!!! So what do I decide to do? Have lunch! So there’s one table of old guys drinking beer out of tiny glasses. Y’know, the type of glasses you’d find at a garage sale for a quarter. That size. Smaller than small. Petite I guess you could say (what?) The table next to me three guys (or was one a girl?) of one Indian (feather, not dot) and two gwy lows. As I’m enjoying my cheeseburger, I eaves drop on the two groups to see what wino’s talk about when in the company of others. Items discussed:
- how the government sucks (yes, from the ‘feather’ table)
- the decision to throw away a whole bunch of records, but keeping some Beatle ones ((in drunken slur) “Oh, that’ll be worth A LOT of money some day!”) because…
- “there’s a NEW type of CD coming out”
- healthy eating. “Gotta watch what you’re eating! All this fried food will kill you!” (said person chases that statement with a swig of beer)
- steel bands are an easy instrument to play because you only have to hit the spot with the number on it…
- but sounds good. Especially classical music played on steel pan. (!)

And the ride home? Fu(king Sauga bus driver! Turn the heat ON. How do I know it wasn’t on? Well, aside from me shivering for the entire route, there was frost on the INSIDE of the windows and snow on the seats. Snow! SNOW!!! Snow. On. The. Seats. On the seats! Inside a bus!


>sneeze<