Wednesday, June 15, 2005

The Long Ride Home

by chinwhat at 8:20 p.m.
Q: How many mistakes can you spot?

June 14, 2005
7:32pm - Driving east on the QEW from Erin Mills. I’ve just purchased a doubles and chicken roti. Thinks to self “boy, I wonder if this’ll be better than Bara’s Hut’s roti and doubles” Continues to think of all the possible differences.

7:35pm - Realizes that I’ve missed the Hwy10 exit due to too much roti thinking.

7:49pm - Reaches home and proceeds to eat roti and chicken. “Delicious!” I think to myself. “Hot too!” So hot in fact, my teeth become numb. Throws in the towel. “Besides, I can save this for breakfast tomorrow!”

June 15, 2005
6:18am - Sitting on the shitter and thinking to self “Hot going in, hot going out! Gat damn!”

6:34am - Thinking “Mmmmm! Day old roti with the shell a little dry and chewy due to microwaving!”

8:29am - Already at work and then I feel it: “Uh oh… (breaths in) I don’t feel so good…”

8:56am - “No really… I hope I don’t have to take a dump here at work.”

9:50am - In cafeteria buying a Canada Dry “Hope this works!”

10:06am - “Sho does!”

Random times throughout the day – Random, but controlled farts.

3:16pm – Heats up leftover lasagna from Sunday night

3:18pm – Tastes it and realizes “Hmmm… this lasagna isn’t hot… ah well… “

4:10pm – “Ugghhh… stomach REALLY doesn’t feel good…”

4:11pm – “…must …hold … on…”

4:16pm – “Okay, I’m good, I’m good…”

4:17pm – “Uggghhhhhhh!!!!” I continue to breath in deeply until I’m ready to leave…

4:18pm – I losen my belt…

4:31pm – To coworker who’s supposed to show me something new: “I gotta go. I don’t feel so good… gotta go home and take a dump!”

4:35pm – I power walk to RSXNation

4:39pm – At Creditview and Old Creditview: yellow and red light. “Shit!”

4:41pm – Over the Credit River, I think to myself “damn this seatbelt is tight! If I got into a car accident, my ass would explode! How embarrassing…”

4:43pm – Creditview and Britannia: Red light “(exhales) Okay, I’m okay…”

4:46pm - Creditview and Eglinton: Red light “It’s okay, I’m almost there… it’s okay… uuuggghhhh…”

4:50pm – Fairview and Confederation: Red light “So close! Yet so far… oh!”

4:53pm – Pull up to my drive and run up the stairs

4:54pm – Relief… sure its stomach churning, “hot going out” relief, but relief none the less. “Tough one, eh?” “Yes, yes indeed!”


Blogger Rubex Cube said...

OMG I almost cracked my gut laughing at your antics, only you would go through something like that mister! So you up for some hot ROTI or what?

6/16/2005 01:38:00 p.m.  
Blogger chinwhat said...

Always up for it!

6/16/2005 05:22:00 p.m.  

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