Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween!!!

by chinwhat at 8:11 p.m.

Okay, so I'm on deck with handing out candy again this year. Here's a slice of some fun i got into:

Two guys come by. One has some fake blood on his face and neither of them have a costume on. Here we go...
Me: “Hey guys.” >grabs one piece of candy< “what're you supposed to be?” I say to the plain guy.
His friend: “He doesn't want to be anything” >drops candy into his bag<
Me: “Really? That's too bad. I guess you don't like candy neither”
Plain guy: “...”
>they walk away<
That's right, son!

Another group of kids too cool to dress up come by.
Me: “What're you supposed to be?”
Them: “uhhh...”
Me: “Too slow homies. You gotta come stronger than that! It's Halloween. You want candy, you gotta dress up”
>they walk away confused<

Next group:
Me: “What're you supposed to be?”
#1 (had a bandana around his neck): “uh, a gangsta!”
Me: “What're you supposed to be?”
#2 (in a Zorro mask): “Zorro!”
Me: “alright, that's a good Zorro. Here, two for you!” (to #3) “and what're you supposed to be?”
#3 (also w/bandana around his neck) “gangsta!”
Me: “Oh yeah? Am *I* 'gangsta?'”
#1: “uh.... yeah...”
Me: “Good answer. You know how much candy gangsta's give out? None! Thanks for coming” >closes door<

Two guys w/bandanas over their mouths
Me: “Let me guess... gangsters?”
#1: “Yeah” >holds out garbage bag<
Me: “Hey, you guys were just here!”
#1: “Nooo! It was some other guys. Over there!” >points down the street<
Me: “Oh... well you should ask them how much candy I gave them. Can you guess how much?”
#1: “Lots?”
Me: >holds up 'okay' sign< “Nope. Sorry kids. This ain't free candy for nothing day. You gotta dress up!”

Another two chumps come by...
Me: “What're you supposed to be?”
#1: “Human”
Me: >stares at him and shakes head<
#1: >walks away<

Chin: 9
Kids too cool to dress up: 0

But for those who're thinking I'm a bad guy for not giving these punks any candy, I offer you this: some little fat kid in his Kung Fu suit came by and I gave him an Oh Henry. He looked in his bag after I dropped it and I said “what, you don't like it?” “I'm allergic to peanuts” he answers. “Oh, well have three of these ones” >drops three Caramilks<

Or how about all the “extra” candies I gave to young young kids who had no business eating candy (read 2 year olds and younger) since I knew Mom and Dad would be “inspecting” the treats later on... yeah, I got quite a few of those.


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