What I Want My Funeral to Be Like

Went for my third funeral home visit this year (and it’s only April! By the by, to echo sentiments: don’t forget to tell your people how much you love them. Tomorrow’s not guaranteed.) and I know for sure what I want my funeral home/wake thing/last wishes to be like:
- I want a DJ at the funeral home
- There has to be a magician doing some card tricks. Not crappy “Bread & Money” magician tricks, but some David Blaine caliber tricks! I want to hear (from heaven?) people yelling "OH SNAP!!!"
- Some funeral homes have nice pictures of the deceased’s life. I want one easel nice sugar and sweet pictures. The other easel can have punkage pictures. Punkage is a way of life… even after death!
- Sam of “Osmo’s Grill” fame, operating a little shwarma hut in the corner
- Sound board installed by the casket complete with my default sayings. Not sure what they’d be, but that’s where you guys would come in!
- I need to be buried with my vinyl copy of Midnight Mauraders
- And last but not least, final pushing circle from TeamID