Thursday, August 25, 2005

Pooh Pooh, Ca Ca

by chinwhat at 9:21 p.m.
First defecation related story:
So I’m talking to a cool co-worker (who’s got a noticeable Chinese accent) about an external DVD burner I’m supposed to help her with. She’s wanted me to come up and show her how to use it. She's been on me for a couple of days now, but more important matters kept coming up. So one day, I’m on the phone with her...

Her: So when are you coming up to set it up for me?
Me: I’ll try and come up tomorrow. Okay?
Her: Oh, you say that all the time!
Me: But more important things came up.
Her: Yeah, right! You eat crap!
Me: (laughing) WHAT?!? I eat crap!?
Her: Yeah! You’re always talking crap to me! So that's why you eat it!
Me: (laugh x1000)

So a couple of days later, I see her in the caf and we’re just talking and stuff...

Me: I’m telling HR on you. You said that I eat crap.
Her: When did I say that?
Me: A couple of days ago! You said that I eat crap!
Her: No! I did not say that! (Using her accent to her advantage) I said ‘you eat crab!’ Crab like lobster! ‘You eat crab!’
Us: (laugh x1000)

Second: defecation related story:
Today at work, we held a ‘surprise’ wedding shower for one of my co-workers. We’re all supposed to be in the main boardroom where he’d be ambushed. With five minutes to spare, I get back from lunch and head towards my cubicle. Doing so, I pass by the washroom, right where my co-worker is heading. I drop off my bag at my desk and go to the lavatory to make sure there are no crumbs on my face (as there usually is) and I notice someone in one of the stalls taking a dump. Not only do I see my co-workers dress shoes, but I smell his bombs (Gat damn nikka!) I break the fuck out and head to the boardroom to join everyone else. Everyone’s there looking at their watch wondering where he could be. I swear, I’ve never EVER practiced such restraint in my life. IN MY LIFE, SON!!! The question came up: “Where’s Mike? It’s three O’clock!” and the answer I wanted to yell out: “He's in the washroom! He’s taking a huge fucking dump! And it really really fucking STAAANKS!!!” But no, I was good. I pierced my lips together, looked down at my shoes and giggled to myself.

WAR >sniff< >sniff< followed by the >gas face<
WAR the diarrhea song
WAR turds, poop, anal butter, chocolate banana, shit, dump, ass kabobs, turds, chubacca chunks, doo doo, mud, crap, crapola, fecal matter, etc etc etc...


Blogger Rubex Cube said...

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhaha funny stories though

8/26/2005 07:01:00 a.m.  

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