Thursday, February 16, 2006

Wreckless Abandon! - March 7th, 2004

by chinwhat at 6:53 p.m.
Hades Lunch Special - $4.99 w/pop

Fuck the slice, we want the pie
why ask why till we fry
watch us all stand in line
for a slice of the devil's pie
drugs and thugs, women and wine
three or four at a time
watch them stand all in line
for a slice of the devils pie

– D'Angelo, “Devil's Pie”

So I'm on the street car and notice this guy standing a few paces down, with a couple piercings on his face and sunglasses. He's wearing a red varsity jacket with a couple of those “iron on” patches on either side of his chest. One of a screaming devil head, the other, a black and silver pentagram. Black cargo pants tucked into the requisite… Doc… Martin… boots…

A devil worshipper! On the red rocket!!! ‘You don't see that everyday' I mention to myself. (And I thought them Satanists were scared of the sun! – no wait, that's Frankensteins…) But the one “accessory” that had my head in a spin: in his left hand, a generic white plastic bag with a take out container in it. Now it wasn't one of those single-old-school-McDonald-burger-clam-shell types. It was the larger ones. The ones that could hold a whole meal. The ones you get when you get a half order of jerk chicken (or curry eggplant), peas and rice and some coleslaw.

I began to wonder: what could be in that? And where did he get it from? Is there a little take out spot around the corner where the city's SatanFans go to chow down? Maybe it's from one of those coach roaches – er, roach coaches. Could it be leftovers from having a Goth themed dinner with his “bride of Satan” girlfriend? Naw, he definitely bought it from somewhere. I could tell. (The white plastic bag hasn't been reused. There weren't any wrinkles in it.)

That and don't them occultists eat bats and rats and pigeons or something? Does this evil café specialize in Devil's Food Cake? Maybe he ordered some Deviled Eggs. O Diablo or Tacos Pecadillo? Or would he go to the other side of the spectrum? (Out of spite of course) What if he preferred Angel Food Cake? He seemed slim (but don't they ALL seem slim?) so he has to be eating the lighter type of fare: Angel Hair Primavera. That's gotta be it! No Heavenly Hash though, to fattening.

What the hell was in that take out container???

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