Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Corporate Slug?

by chinwhat at 9:37 PM
So there was a generic email sent out at work about a month ago. It was for the social club’s annual golf event. “Pack dat shet!” I thought to myself. I mean, GOLF? Who am I? Shaun? So I send that crappy message to the delete bin. A week or so later, a co worker asks if I’m going. “Psh! No! Why?” “Because it’s fun!” Fun, eh...??? I do a little searching. Asking folks in the know, and a lot of people agree that it’s THE event of the year. So for my $45, I get a lunch (or is it dinner?) a fleece pullover and a round of golf. But allegedly, there’s hardcore “prizes” which are really "gifts" from our clients. Allegedly, the crappiest gifts are $100 gift certificates. So in theory, I’m earning a cool $55 in spendable vouchers… allegedly…

So I mosey on down to HR to pay the fee. Get antics already as I circled “XXL” for the size of my fleece sweater on the sign up form. NinaHR says in a surprised tone “DO YOU KNOW HOW LARGE THAT IS!?!?” me: “uh, extra extra large?” She continued to try and talk me out of getting it. Geez, it's not like the extra fabric’s coming out of her paycheck or something! Easy! She even went so far as to pull one out and show it to me: “Look how big it is!” displaying it in front of me. “Do you want to at least try it on?” “Uhm, nah, I think it’s good” To which she inappropriately (in an HR way) said: “You’re such a guy” Oh punk!

All I need to do now is step my golf game up. I don’t mind embarrassing myself in front of all the big wigs at work, but still, I gotta represent! I’m already trying to come up with witty things to say as I hack at the ball. “I.T. WHAT!” or “Tiger Woods ain’t got shit on me!” (© Denzel Washington). I know I’m going to try and pop my collar and do that fist pump that Tiger does, but I realize my game really sucks (yeah, that one too!) I’ll need to hit the driving range a few more times before the event in August... oy! FORE!!!

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