Cloverfield = Fail

The more I think about it, the more I get mad. Mad like Dave Chappelle’s limo driver. “No. NO! What the fuck!?!”

Why am I so mad at the movie? Cuz I don’t care about the dumb ass characters. ESPECIALLY the main guy. Are you fucking kidding me?

The movie’s about some guy who loves some girl and risks his life as well as his friends’ to go save her. So you’d think after realizing that he missed his opportunity to express his true feelings, he’d make up for it the next chance he got. Drop those three words. Right?

Wrong! (© C.Murphy)

Chump fucking waits until after they walk through two destroyed buildings… after they’re attacked my random alien monster… after they climb aboard a helicopter to presumed safety… after another monster kills his best friend… after they say ‘goodbye’ to a camera and after the bridge they’re taking shelter under gets blown the fuck up.

You love this bitch, but you go through all that shit first before you tell her so?

GET. THE. FUCK. OUTTA. HERE!

The only two redeeming things about this movie is a) Jessica Lucas and b) Odette Yustman

Gat damn!!