My Right Hand of Fucking Anger/Chris is Right!

On Thursday, I was *supposed to* see the great Roy Ayers and friends for the Jazz Fest at The Harbourfront. What happens? It gets cancelled. I don’t get to see the performance of one of my top 25 favorite songs of all time? That’s fucking bullshit ref! Bullshit!! Everybody loves the sunshine. And that includes me! Pissed? Yes, yes I was. But that also meant I was available for our last week of beach volleyball for the spring session. Whoever we were playing that day, well, to quote the Korean store owner from Menace II Society: “I feel sorry for your mother” because I was going to take out my fucking anger on their asses! All day on Thursday, I kept looking at my right hand, just throbbing, pulsating. Irradiating with fierceness. Infected with Rage, just like the chimps in 28 Days Later.

So team Major League (the gayest name in the world) came in and went to work. Scoreboard? 4 out of 5 games won. My right hand? Two blocks with a notable one on Ice Ice Baby. Earlier in the game, he spiked it right at me (revenge I suppose for an earlier meeting in the season where I drilled one right onto his numbers). My hand and I didn’t like that, so the next time he went up to unleash some fire, I jumped, put my right hand up and held it there while he tried to power the ball through. I blocked that shit like my name was Hakeem “The Dream” Olajuwon. I blocked it with such force, that Vanilla Ice fell onto his back when he landed. “That’s right, bitch!” I said to myself. (I couldn’t really say that out loud. It’s quite unsportsman-like. I’ll just brag about it here.) My hand and I were satisfied. We humiliated this puny mortal who tried to step to us. Laid on his back in the fetal position where he belongs… >insert arrogant evil laugh here<


Anywho, it also marked the last time we’d play with Barbie on our team. And I’ll give to Chris. He was right about her hotness. He said it wasn’t just because of her physicallities: she has an excellent body or because she pretty. Not just because she dresses nice or loves to play sports (vball, baseball (not softball) and basketball? Nooooo way!) But because she’s nice. In our weeks playing together, she never once did she show any attitude that you’d expect from someone with such physical hotness. She was friendly, supportive and pleasant. I’ll miss her for being able to go up for blocks during games, but I’ll also miss her for her personal qualities as well…


















…that and her hot short shorts. Gat Damn she got sexy legs!!